Fussy eater, now been told to go dairy free! Help!

[Sam419419]

Hi ,

I posted this in parenting but hoping I may get a few more responses over here!

I am looking for some advice as to how best to handle this!
Following an appt with the Dietician yesterday, she believes that my 19 month old's constant bloated tummy, wind and constipation is down to an intolerance to cows milk...(It all makes sense now as I had to cut out all dairy and soya products when pregnant and kicking myself that I didnt put 2 + 2 together before now!)

Recently he has become so fussy that all he will mainly eat is cheese and yoghurt and drink his milk at bedtime. He does pick at vegetables and LOVES his fruit which is great but has even gone off bread recently!
I have tried so many different recipes and he just picks at a few pieces and then pushes it away, although of course eats EVERYTHING at nursery the little monkey angry
I understand now that the more dairy we have been giving him, the worse his little tummy is probably feeling but just don't how to try to turn this all around! I know he will not starve himself but I want to try to make this transition as easy on him as possible.

I am trying him on soya products but am weary of them due to my intolerance so would rather offer almond milk etc...

Please please please can someone offer some advice/ support!!

Much appreciated, Sam

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

I'm CMPI (cow's milk protein intolerant) and also have a fussy eater. My dd is now a healthy 7 so please don't worry too much, he will be fine

Did the dietician give you any suggestions on what to give him? Mine suggested 50/50 bread as it is DF (dairy free) and has added calcium. Ready brek also has added calcium so maybe try that made with the almond milk and add some puréed or chopped fruit for flavour.

Dried figs and green vegetables are good and so are sardines and tinned salmon containing the bones. You could try him with sardines on toast, a salmon sandwich or make fish cakes with the tinned salmon.

At the weekend I make these for breakfast for me and the DC. I substitute the cows milk for almond milk and it seems to work well.

As for him refusing food. It will get better. Try not to get anxious as he will pick up on it, easier said than done though I know. If he likes his fruit and veg try to put something on his plate you know he will eat, that way he will be getting something at least. So if you offer him a round of toast with smooth almond butter, which is high in calcium, for breakfast, give him a banana to go with it. If he chooses not to eat its best to assume he's just not hungry. Don't don't about the food or ask him to eat it and never, ever offer an alternative

Have you been referred for allergy testing? If not, I would push for it. Allergy uk have a helpline too so it might be worth ringing them.

The only other food I can think of that is high in calcium is dried figs.

Sorry for the long and rambling post!

[Sam419419]

Thanks so much, such a great reply.
I know I have been told over and over about not worrying as his weight is good for his height etc but you just cant stop worrying can you?!

He was screaming for the length of my appt so the dietician didnt give me much info at all about where to start with high calcium foods.

I know that green veg are good but didn't know about the 50/50 bread. We usually only eat wholemeal but hopefully he may eat that if it is slightly different to what he usually has.

I was worried about giving tinned fish with bones in as he only has a few teeth so far and I don't eat them myself, are the bones ok for LO's?

Thanks for the link for the pancakes, they look AMAZING! I will definitely be making those tomorrow morning as day off with him!

Is Almond milk a good alternative at his age? It says on the carton, not to give as main milk drink until 3 years but I am not really keen on him having soya due to my history with it but also due to all the info in the media about the high levels of hormones in it??

Sorry to go on and on AND ON!!!! TOO MANY QUESTIONS!

[ShineSmile]

On what basis did she say it is cows milk intolerance and not another allergy? To me, it sounds like wheat may be an issue (too), as he is refusing to eat that.

[ShineSmile]

You could give almond milk or coconut milk (koko) brand is quite nice too.

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

Agree with Shine on both counts. Why does she think its CMPI and as for the milk you can try almond, kook or oat milk but not soya or rice. Just make sure the one you do choose has added calcium.

Think he will be fine with tinned fish too

[combust22]

Tinned fish bones are fine- if you buy a tin of canned salmon the bones are very soft and crumbly and can easily be crushed between the fingers, they disintegrate if you mix the fish with the bones and they can't be detected. Easy to eat even with no teeth.

Tofu is very soft and is packed full of calcium.


My children ate no dairy at all. No formula, no butter, no milk, no yogurt not even eggs. My son is now 6 foot three!

[nomdemere]

Wait! Don't change diet yet!

Has your DS had a coeliac test? Bloated tummy and bowel problems are red flags for that.

I think you should go to the GP and ask for a coeliac test - initial test is a simple blood test, which will be done at a hospital by staff experienced in taking blood from young DC (mine enjoy having it done!)

Your DS's symptoms, including the terrible fussy eating, sound exactly like my coeliac DS pre-diagnosis.

Whatever you do, DO NOT change diet until the coeliac testing is complete - it can cause a false negative.

[nomdemere]

p.s. Coeliacs are often lactose-intolerant too, although this is temporary and goes away again when the gut has healed.

[ShineSmile]

It does sound more like coeliac than an allergy or an intolerance, I think an allergy or an intolerance would have flagged up signs much earlier, unless of course there were some? It would be rather surprising that a whole year passed and nothing flagged up.

If you can think back, do you ever remember your LO having redness around his anus? Did he or she have explosive poos? Have you ever seen any type of redness on his body? Rash or hives, or anything for that matter? Has he or she has a constant runny nose?

How has your LO's sleep been?

[ouryve]

Loads of bread is dairy free, btw, not just the 50/50 - you just have to read ingredients labels reigiously!

So long as you take the backbones out, tinned salmon bones are lovely and soft.

Plenty of nuts are rich in calcium and houmous is a good, toddler friendly source.

People of many cultures thrive on little or no dairy, btw, since so many people of various ethnicities are largely lactose intolerant. In the west, out dependency is probably more habitual (and based on heavy marketing) than borne of necessity.

[combust22]

ouryve - the backbones of the salmon are the best bit!! My kids would ask for me to pick them out to eat- I like them too!!

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

Now I've read some of the other posts and had time to think I'm really doubting the diagnosis too. As a baby/child I would refuse milk, butter, cheese completely and apparently whilst ff I screamed 24/7.

Seems a but odd that you've been told to eliminate dairy when that's the thing he loves. Have a read of this on allergy uk and see what you think.

I agree too with pushing for a coeliac test. It's the first thing my GP did with me.

[Sam419419]

Thanks for replies.

The GP did say that she didn't think it was coeliacs as he has always put on weight, even though it has been slow the last 6 months, he is a very active toddler.

I think the quick jump to CMI is due to me having to cut all dairy out when pregnant. It made me so sick for the first 6/7 months but i could tolerate it in third trimester in small portions. My sister is also CMPI but grew out of it mostly by early childhood.

I am actually thinking of going cows milk free too as not too bothered about it, but obviously worry for his calcium levels.
He used to LOVE weetabix every morning until recently and would devour a couple of slices of toast with marmite or peanut butter but now will not even touch either!

He has had a runny nose since starting nursery...so who knows whether that is a symptom, had explosive poos but generally only when BF, no rashes. Generally very healthy child apart from on/off bouts of constipation (generally once/ twice a month) but constant bloatedness.

He has never been a good sleeper and only started sleeping better at around 10 months. Still only ever had a handful of sleep right through nights.

I think as he had settled at night and is usually a happy/content boy, I didnt think the milk could be a cause but he is just so miserable all the time and nursery have said that is has become very sensitive....but who knows if that is just down to age/frustration/learning to talk/push boundaries??? Guessing game!!

[Sam419419]

One thing i have just thought of is that last month for several weeks, his poo was the texture of wet sand. It was so bad that the nursery even mentioned it. After ensuring there was no way he had been sneakily eating sand at home or nursery, I rang HV and mentioned it but she was not worried?? Should I bee worried?

[ShineSmile]

It's a simple blood test to test for coeliac. Go back to your GP and firmly request it.

[ShineSmile]

If he has CMPI, you would have noticed the symptoms at 6 months when you first introduced dairy. You either have CMPI or you don't.

What this does sound like though is celiac with temporary lactose intolerance (as someone suggested below) because of the coeliac, as the gut has weakened and now can't tolerate lactose either. By all means cut our dairy, and yes you will see a difference, but you wouldn't be addressing the root problem.

[Sam419419]

Thanks, I will do. Have just rang but they cannot get him in until next week...my GP seems to have become overrun in the last few months! Can never get an appt.

I think I will carry on with the cows milk free diet until appt. as anything which may help him at the moment is better than leaving him the way he is!

Combust, thanks for info about fish bones and your DS. Hoping my lo will be the same!

He is diddy in height but then so am I, but apparently his weight is well in proportion to his height.

[nomdemere]

GP is talking bollocks about the 'he's putting on weight' thing. Completely irrelevant. Only a small sub-section of coeliac children are the old-fashioned "failure to thrive" losing-weight cases.

My DS (diagnosed at 4, but we were trailing round doctors from age 2 to try and find out what was wrong) was gaining weight all along (though dropping centimes - no-one was bothered by that, it seemed.)

His case really sounds very similar to your DS's. You may have to fight to get him tested though. While you're waiting for GP appt, do your research. Google for the NICE guidelines on having children tested, speak to Coeliac UK etc. Go in armed with reasons why he needs to be tested, and don't accept a refusal.

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

Think I agree with nom but I would push for a Paed referral too. Did you read the allergy uk info? What did you think? This kellymom article explains the difference between Lactose intolerance and CMPI quite well.

The telephone number and website address for Coeliac UK is here.

[Sam419419]

Thanks so much everyone. Yes me and DH looked through some of the websites last night and i showed him the thread and he had a bit of a 'Eureka' moment! DH is convinced that it is gluten that is the problem now.

Just to pick your brains again. Yesterday he ate all meals at nursery and then are a whole toasted ham sandwich (2 slices of bread!) a pear and a very small portion of pasta...this amount of eating has been unheard of the last 2 weeks...anyway, he was up last night absolutely screaming and the same when he woke this morning. Turns out was trapped wind? Would this be a common symptom with Coeliacs?

Also made those pancakes this morning Jilted...he loved them! I had mine with maple syrup...delicious!

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

Glad you liked the pancakes but sorry to hear he's been screaming again. Just one more thing it might be worth checking. My DS woke often and screamed, in the end we found it was upper lip tie and tongue tie. Might be worth getting that checked too.

[0ellenbrody0]

Coeliac here, trapped wind was a BIG problem for both me, my coeliac daughter and coeliac mum!
Your sons symptoms seem familiar, it's just a simple blood test for coeliac disease but don't be tempted to go gluten free yet, even to try, as the test will not be accurate.
Sorry your son is unwell, it's worrying isn't it.

[Sam419419]

Hi again...

Well I have the GP appt on Weds so will push for a test then...I am going to ring Coeliacs UK this afternoon for general advice and help of what to say if my GP does not want to offer test.

I have been away this weekend but my DH said he was awful as hadnt been for a poop since Tuesday last week. Managed to go last night just before I got home.

He has been on the dairy free diet since Weds but his symptoms seem to have worsened?!? Does it tend to get worse before it gets better do you know?

Thanks Ellen, I told DH to carry on giving him gluten products until I had been to the GP although this was very difficult for him to do!

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

When I went DF I felt much better almost immediately. Update us after your phone call