sorry not been about much.

It really is hard, waiting, but I am like you flower7, Ss have footed the bill to get me approved (you would think that in itself would encourage them to match a child with us) and as a single parent it is so much harder on my dd, who is like a wee mother hen when it comes to younger children, every time my sw comes she thinks he is going to tell her she has a little sister

Well I suppose if it is meant to be it will happen one day [hopefull]

Hi again

I am sorry you have been waiting 2 years purplepillow, I'm not sure I could wait for that long, at the moment a wait of 1 year seems about tops before "moving on". It is so frustraing because SServices spend a lot of money on getting us all approved. My BS is 7, was 4 when we started and it's hard for children who are also waiting for their new sibling. How long have you been approved hester?

It is very frustrating to hear of your 2 little girls marriedtoagoodun, we would love to have them! (altho' as we are only approved for single child that would not happen).

I know what you mean hester about trying to get a response from the magazines. We tried for a little girl recently but heard zilch back. At least she only appeared in a couple of months mags. She has gone now so should think she has been matched. It is good that your own SW is so supportive. Hope something comes of this one.

I am reading quite a good book at the moment - Real Parents, Real Children by Holly van Gulden/Lisa M. Bartels-Rabb. If you're in Adoption UK they have a lending library but I have not tried to borrow any books yet. I haven't read any books for months though as agree that reading does make you focus on it more and when nothing is happening it adds to the frustration! But my SW is certainly keen for us to read as much as we can.

It must be really hard to understand why they haven't been snapped up, kayran . Do your girls know they will be adopted? How do they feel about this wait?

Purplepillow, that is so very frustrating for you.

Well, yesterday I spotted another little one perfect for us, and contacted the sw. At least I know better than to expect a response now! And at least we have a very kind and committed social worker. I don't mind (well, I do, but it doesn't feel so bad) when she reports back that a child has been matched with a better family - at least then I can feel happy for the child. But it is hard seeing a child crop up month after month in Children Who Wait, when you've expressed interest in them and never heard back...

I'm torn at the moment between using this waiting time to read up as much as I can on adoption issues, and thinking I need to put it at the back of my mind and not think about it all the time. Any advice on that? Any recommendations of good books to read to prepare me for parenting an adopted 1 year old?

I think the statistics of pre and post school age children being adopted (ie sucess rates) are dramatically different so such a shame it doesn;t happen earlier when it could.

Oh its me Kayran... I name changed

This throwing around of a 'year' here and there is tragic. Our girls are 5 and 4 and are now both in school. A year ago they were (obviously) 3 and 4 year old pre-schoolers. I cannot help but feel they would have bonded far more easily a year ago and yet the SW doesn't seem to have the same urgency. They are very gorgeous too

that seems so unfair - I don't understand why there isn't a central policy on thigns like this so people know where they stand.

Hi Hester, basically the legistration in my LA changed and no children under 5 will now be placed with smoking parents.

Some LA's have said 6mnths after stopping smoking children can be placed but my LA has decided on a YEAR.

Sometimes I feel like giving it all up, because the bar keeps being raised iykwim but then I think about the poor child waiting to be placed in my family and it gives me the strength to carry on, also my dd is sooo desperate to be a big sister

Two years?? Purplepillow, you must have incredible patience and endurance. Would you mind me asking if you could explain a bit more about the smoking thing? Why did they ask you to give up smoking after you were approved?

HI Hester, I too am waiting to be matched.

Have been aproved now for about 2 yrs and still waiting but for my sins I have to wait until at least march2010 til I have stopped smoking for a year

I started the process when dd was nearly 6 and she is coming 10 now

So many children desperate for a happy loving home and so many people wanting to give it but the red tape always gets in the way.

Hope it happens for you soon xx