Adoption leave question

[64x32x24]

As I do not currently 'work' (for an income), I can't get adoption leave. Therefore DP will be taking adoption leave and his work is quite generous, he can basically have the same as if he'd be taking maternity leave. Or in other words, he can have that bit of adoption leave that the main carer gets (frequently the mum), rather than the adoption 'paternity' leave that the other person (frequently the dad) gets. Despite me being 'at home' anyway and thus when DP returns to work, me being the main carer. Thanks DP's work! We're very grateful.

The question is, when does this adoption leave (for the main carer) start? Must it be at placement (at the latest), or can it begin, say, 2 months AFTER placement?

HR was (understandably!) a bit confused with this question. The thing is, I will be at home anyway, and for various reasons it would make more sense for us, if DP would take e.g. 2 weeks of annual leave at placement, then go back to work, then start adoption leave proper a couple of months later. The reasons are to do on the one hand with how his work works (think e.g. teachers, coordinating leave with term times and such), and on the other hand with when we predict really being able to make the most of both of us being at home for a while. We think it would make sense to promote attachment to one of us (me) initially, and only later widen it to both; it would be a bit silly if we were both around at home at first, but promoting attachment to just me, then wanting to promote attachment to him as well just when he would be due to return to work. (But we might make a big turnaround on this once the reality of placement kicks in! To which we are open to.)

Does anybody know how this works - is it possible to start adoption leave at a later point, if the other parent is at home in the mean time?

I do realise we are very privileged to even be wondering about this question. Nevertheless I would appreciate any help or pointers!

[Lillyludge]

I called the HR dept at my work because I wanted to know about 'carrying over' holiday, and whether I could delay my adoption leave. They were very obliging!

I've been very busy saving all my holiday up this year, so my adoption leave won't actually start until 5 weeks after AC moves in!

I was surprised that they were willing to do this, but I think it's really down to the employer and how flexible they're prepared to be. Maybe he should just give them a call and ask?

[Barbadosgirl]

Statutory AL must start within 2 weeks of the placement date. Of course, your HR dept might have a more generous policy!

[nothingcomestonothing]

My employer said (in writing) I could start my adoption leave once I'd used my annual leave up first. Then after I'd already gone on adoption leave, changed their minds and said the adoption policy has to mirror the maternity policy, so I had to start my leave the date DCs were placed. I'm actually seeing an employment solicitor tomorrow to see where I stand re taking the leave now (at the end of adoption leave) as my work are saying I can't carry over last year's leave. I can let you know how I get on afterwards if you like?

[64x32x24]

Thanks everyone that is helpful. It seems that statutorily, things are pretty clear, but individual employers may make generous allowances.

[64x32x24]

Yes nothingcomes, that would be interesting and potentially very useful! If you don't mind. I hope you get good news.

[nothingcomestonothing]

I saw the solicitor today, he said that my work cannot do what they did, i.e. put back the date my adoption leave started on after I'd gone. Apparently the legal term is 'they are estopped from retrospectively changing my return date'. He said if they try to make me come back on the amended date or withhold my pay etc from that date, I can take them to an employment tribunal and he can't see how any tribunal would not find in my favour. Not looking forward to broaching it with my manager, but it's good news for me and might be useful for others to know! Best of luck.

[FamiliesShareGerms]

I think whether you can defer the start of your adoption leave etc depends on each company's HR policy, so go through it carefully, reach an agreed position then get it in writing. Ditto unusual agreements such as carrying forward more annual leave than normal.

Even if you intend to try to promote attachment to one of you first, the other will still have their hands full doing some child stuff and plenty of household stuff.

[64x32x24]

Of course FSG (I have always loved your username btw) and even if he can defer adoption leave to later, he definitely would be taking leave at placement, and though we would have a plan, we would be prepared to adapt the plan depending on how things went.

But at the moment it is mainly about finding out what our options are! No decisions made yet.

Thanks nothingcomes for reporting back, glad the law is on your side, but a little unfortunate that you will have to have those conversations. Hope it goes well.

[FamiliesShareGerms]

Oh thanks, 64x! (What are those dimensions for, by the way??)

I chose my nn after DS and DD both had a nasty cold fairly soon after placement, and DS said quite matter of fact "well, families do share germs"

[64x32x24]

That's brilliant, FSG! I used to like it already when I thought it was just about saying that there is no point in being hyper-vigilant about hygiene - whatever you do, if you live together as a family, you ARE going to be sharing germs to some extent. Didn't at the time realise that you had an adoptive family - it is even more perfect on that background!

64x32x24 is, in mm, the dimensions of a duplo brick. More or less. Though if you are going to make your own (3d-printer) you're going to need much more precise measures.