I’m not sure if I’m stating the absolute obvious here, but here are my tips/ experiences of intros with a one year old.
The very first meeting :
Chit chat and readily accepting cups of tea and biscuits from the foster carers signalled, ‘causal and comfortable event’ to the child we felt, rather than ‘this is a highly important first meeting.’ We didn’t rush over to the child at first, just kept very calm and ‘chit-chatty’ with FCs.
Once conversation about the local area was flowing my partner and I took it in turns to lay on the floor, so LO could crawl to us, investigate our faces and hair, crawl off etc. We acted quite submissively, not making eye contact until she offered it first.
Once we had eye contact we then sat playing with her toys, while chatting to Foster carers. LO hid behind the sofa watching us at a safe distance, until wanting her toy back.
LOs from about 6 months love soft wipe-clean or cloth fabric balls. We brought our baby ball along to the meeting, it has a bell inside (made by the toy company Pebble), but Jelly Cat do a nice one too that has a bouncing noise when thrown. We rolled the ball to LO and although she was too young to roll back, she loved retrieving the ball and returning it to us. This offered opportunity to praise and make ‘very happy’ face expressions. All those present, SW and FCs also delighted in this little game so smiles all round.
After some time we initiated a game of roll the ball with LO, where LO sat between our laps and we rolled the ball to each other (lots of eye contact and laughing at each other- she loved this). We then took it in turns to sit LO on our laps (our first hold of LO without it being too staged). We quickly realised that she didn’t like her hands being guided or held to the ball (a surprise for us, as we hadn’t come across this with my two young BC at this age). We didn’t react to the hand withdrawal at all (eg. didn’t comment on it to FC), just refrained from taking or touching her hands again. (LO still isn’t keen on having her hands guided to toys, but will hold hands readily now).
I would also recommend bringing along a touchy feely book to the first meeting (or better still, pick up LO’s if he/ she has one already). I lay down low on the rug touching the sensory patches in the book, little one crawled over to investigate and we were able to get very close touching the sensory patches and looking at each other over the pages of the book.
In intros week I would recommend you try to give baby their bottle as much as possible, cuddling in close if they let you. Feeding baby their solid food (if applicable) and changing their nappy are also early opportunities for physical contact with LO. –obvious, I know.
Singing became a massive part of our introductions period. LO responded very well to being sung lullabies and being rocked to sleep in our arms(FCs left LO with bottle to sleep, so although we broke this routine early, in hindsight we feel it was the right call for her / us in terms of making attachments). During wakeful periods, singing nursery rhymes accompanied by the actions promoted many smiles, eye contact etc, especially when LO started to join in. Singing to music in the car also seemed to help little LO delight in and learn our singing voices quickly. Music making in general has helped unify LO with my two year old BC. They delight in sessions of ‘noisy time’ they share together, singing songs and ‘playing’ instruments (not sure my neighbours are so keen!)
Following intros, once we were settling in, we started having baths with LO to promote skin to skin contact, and then taking showers together. LO really loved being held tight in the shower and holding hands up to the pouring water together. Some babies would be less keen on this, as showering takes some getting used to.
During the settling in period at home we noticed that LO liked to nestle into her pillow and soft toys and pick at labels (a common past time of babies). We encouraged her to fiddle with the labels on our clothes and to nestle into us instead, we let her hide in our jumpers and cardigans etc. I frequently nestled and rubbed my head against hers when she was sleepy or taking the bottle; she was surprised by this at first, but now goes to rub her head against my chin, or neck when she’s tired.
I did baby massage courses with my two BC and used techniques I had learnt from these courses to promote touch with LO. When she has trapped wind I use a technique on her belly and feet to alleviate the pain for example. Although surprised by my tapping and rubbing her feet and belly at first, LO is now at a point where she clearly trusts these massages/ my touch, as she guided my hand to the source of her bellyache and discomfort tonight. So taking a quick baby massage course/ buying a baby massage book might be another idea.
I haven’t read the attachment book recommended in this thread before, so not sure if I’ve just offered contradictory advice to what others are saying. Apologises if so, and good luck with your intros.