8 hours to get to sleep!

[roadwalker]

I just need to tell someone
DD took 8 hours to get to sleep last night
I could see she has been building up to an unsettled period. She starts by being very needy and wanting to be close
I just go with that and she has been sleeping in my bed for the last week (DH works nights anyway)
We had 3 close friends visit yesterday for 2 hours and I think that was enough to tip her over the edge
Bed time was not pleasant, she was hitting and kicking me, jumping around, swearing
I was quite pleased with myself for the first 7 hours, stayed calm, loads of empathy
Then I lost the plot and really shouted at her
She ended up back in her own bed and got to sleep at 3 only to wake again at 3.30
I am so tired and am working today
This is just a rant although if anyone has any wonderful solutions that do not include hitting her on the head feel free
we already have melatonin

[Gileswithachainsaw]

How old is she? Is there a child psychologist that you could take her to see?

How is she at school?

[roadwalker]

Thanks Giles
she has loads of input from CAMHS and other therapists

[Gileswithachainsaw]

Have they got anywhere with her? Maybe this is a case of all the intervention bringing everything to the surface and she's suddenly more aware of feelings she had buried before. I know nothing about these things obviously cut isn't it true that sometimes things get worse before they get better. Has she been assessed for anything?

[roadwalker]

She has FASD
This is not unusual, her behaviour is very cyclical but I find the extreme nights very hard to cope with

[Gileswithachainsaw]

Oh no poor girl :(

Can the drs give anything stronger than melatonin? To help her get some actual proper rest?

[pumpkinkitty]

Bloody hell, I was complaining about the hour it took DD to get to sleep last night!

I have no wise words as I suspect all the 'normal' bedtime routine stuff is being done already. Is the non sleeping linked to the FASD then?

Sympathy from me, I know how hard working on no sleep is (although I have no experience of what you're going through)

Just thinking, this may be a stupid idea. I work with children with all sorts of behavioural problems etc. we have been teaching them relaxation techniques to help them cope and relax, we have put it all on CD. Is that something her therapist/CAMHs could do with her then have her bring it home?

[RudolphLovesoftplay]

What a nightmare, and you have done brilliantly for managing it for 7hrs without losing it. I don't have any wise words, but you have my total sympathy. DS was such a troubled sleeper when he first came home, I have never known exhaustion like it. If you are that tired, you are fully justified in taking sick days from work, you have to look after yourself to look after your DD.

[Moomoomie]

You have my sympathy. Been there, done that. Have the t shirt. :-)
There have been times when we have literally layed on top of dd3 to get her to sleep, talk about a weighted blanket!!
As Rudolph said, if you need to take a sick day to recover, don't feel guilty.
Look after yourself.

[Devora]

Oh you poor love, you are AMAZING for getting to 7 hours before losing it. We have sleep issues too but that is above and beyond the call.

Really hope things are better for you tonight.

[lougle]

That's awful. I find with DD2 (huge anxiety at bed time) that if I take away the pressure of going to bed, but ask her to sit quietly on the sofa, she falls asleep much more quickly than if I make her stay in her bedroom. Could that help?

[Lilka]

Oh roadwalker, that's one tough night

You've got all my sympathy, DD2's managed very similar, up half the night, constant waking, all sorts of sleep issues. However once she reached teenager she started sleeping more (and now she does the opposite and refuses to get OUT of bed in time to get to college!)

Really hope tonight is better

[roadwalker]

Well I have made it through my work day with lots of coffee
Thanks for all the advice, we have tried a lot though
Staying downstairs is a no-no. She gets very silly and builds into hysteria
I have worked in mental health and have tried guided relaxation which she loves, as soon as I stop she is back to her hyper self so I would have to go on all night
CD's were destroyed
Alpha music, I found fantastic for relaxation but another one destroyed
Bed time routine always stays the same so no surprises
I think it is more about how she is at any particular time
I don't know how to cope with lack of patience after several hours, I really shouted badly and feel ashamed of myself now

[Gileswithachainsaw]

Oh please don't feel bad. That would honestly rest absolutely everyone. You remained calm for 7 hours that's super human in my books!!

You have clearly worked so hard and set up everything you can to help your dd.

[fasparent]

FASD SID's have you explored these area's, Used too effect our dd., quite a bit, Was hit and miss for some time, sensitive too some fabrics
label's on pg.'s, etc. ( feel like sandpaper on her body), also sensitive too
light , noise , mobiles . May be different dd has Full FAS so quite a few medical issues as well. We kept structure in her room too minimal neat tidy not much too destroy, but with cherished items she would relate with. also a little corner for her den her private chill out place. often used too crash out in, and destroy at times.

[roadwalker]

I know you are talking about sensory issues fasparent but what does SID actually stand for
DD does have some sensory issues, she has good quality, high thread count, cotton bedding
I never change our washing liquid
She cant stand labels so these are cut out
She sleeps ok some of the time, I think this is part of her cycle, we move into a very unsettled period on the run up to Christmas, hopefully not as unsettled as last year
She is sleeping now so fingers crossed for a good night

[Moomoomie]

So glad she is sleeping.
The worst thing I find with dd3 ( who also has FASD ) is, there is no rhyme or reason to her bad nights or her bad days at school come to that!
If she has a horrendous day at school I will wrack my brains to think of a trigger, but can't really find a pattern.
It sounds like you did a really good job of staying patient last night, don't feel guilty about losing patience, we are only human.

[Lilka]

SID = Sensory Integration Disorder, or Sensory Integration Dysfunction

[Lilka]

Really glad she is sleeping now, are you going to go yourself soon? You must be exhausted

[roadwalker]

yes, just had my Horlicks- off to bed now

[Moomoomie]

Sleep well. Roadwalker. Pleasant dreams.

[Lilka]

Hope you're having a good sleep now and you read this tomorrow morning feeling a lot better

[roadwalker]

Thanks, we did have a good night. DD woke only once at 2.30 and got into bed with me
I don't feel too chipper this am though- funny how it hits you the next day
Anyway, long may sleep filled night continue

[auntierozzi]

We had one of those! We adopted our 2nd daughter aged 2. As soon as you tried to put her in bed she would spring up like a jack-in-a-box! Never relaxed. We put a mattress beside her bed and lay beside her in the dark holding her hand. Not responding to any giggling, singing etc..Just putting her back in the sleeping position. We just had to sacrifice our evenings. It did go on for a few months! But luckily for us it's a distant memory now. She is now 10 and a joy. Still pretty challenging but no problems and doing really well. Good luck to you and your family.