I met my biological father today

(7 Posts)
mrsshearsagain Sat 16-Nov-13 20:39:18

I feel really odd about it, almost like it happened to someone else.I have only told dh and my children, I hadn't seen him for over 30 years and have no memory of him, I find it all really odd, especially us looking very alike, he is a lovely man but I really don't know how to feel and think I have rushed into it as I only traced him a few weeks back.

Anyfuckerisnotguilty Sat 16-Nov-13 21:07:21

Did you have much contact before meeting with letters or emails

It must be v weird

Guess it will take time

Do you think you would like to see him again ..?

mrsshearsagain Sat 16-Nov-13 21:27:32

Nothing other than a couple of phone calls.
I don't like the thought of never seeing him again but at the same time the thought of a full on relationship scares me to death.
I find it difficult to comphrehend that this man is my father, it's almost like he is someone who used to know me and my family when I was little and not actually a relative, but then the looks come into it and freak me out.

Orangeanddemons Sat 16-Nov-13 21:49:15

I felt like this when I met my bm. However, I chose not to stay in touch as to me she wasn't my mum

Kewcumber Sat 16-Nov-13 21:57:49

Norcap used to offer advice and counselling for people in your position. I don;t think they exist anymore but someone else might offer counselling that might help you a lot. Ring your local social services adoption team and ask if they know anyone.

Anyfuckerisnotguilty Sun 17-Nov-13 20:22:02

Did you like him.
?
Did he seem like a nice person.

Guess it depends if you think you could build a friendship or not

It must be a real head fuck though

Clake66 Thu 28-Nov-13 14:44:58

And Social services paint this picture as rosy, selling this story to parents who may have never done anything wrong. That adopted children will all want to come and find their birth parents. With some of the stories they spin to adoptive parents to then relay to their adoptive children, about the birth parentsI am surprised anyone bothers. As for us grandparents many of us will not be alive to help them understand the truth. There are always two sides to a story.
Give the man a chance. Listen to him about the circumstances of your adoption. How does it differ from what you have been told. You are hopefully old enough to make a judgement about how much of a relationship you then will want. It may be that the story is too distressing to allow forgiveness let alone forgetting to allow for any relationship.

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