Adoption chatters

(40 Posts)
Lilka Mon 08-Jul-13 19:19:28

Fancy another chat thread anyone? All welcome, chat about absolutely anything smile

I'm enjoying some 'me' time after we all had an early tea

We're doing okay. I've continued my blog and I think it's going well. I've also got a couple of other 'me' activities on the go.

Doe anyone remember when I posted about DD2 re-enacting her past, or creating neglect/adoption etc on her Sims 2 game? She's back at that recently (I still am clueless about what to think about this whole issue). She created a her Sim and a birth mum Sim, and made them be friends, then made them fall out (and slap and attack each other). Yesterday I was (subtly) watching her while on my own laptop, and it looks like she's making them try and make up with each other and be more friendly again. Is this a sign she is thinking of finally responding to her mum's messages and talking again? confused They haven't spoken since DD was hospitalised, birth mum stopped trying to contact after DD blocked her on FB and changed her phone number. I really hope DD isn't thinking of contacting her sad

In other news, DD2 got herself bitten by a frustrated Gerbil she handled too roughly. Poor Gerbil, but honestly I feel very sorry for DD2 as well, she really does try to be kind to them.

Anyway...how is everyone? smile

Cleaning the kitchen and looking forward to church BBQ.

Our DD can't read really yet so menus are not great, I usually ask what she most wants and then find the closest thing on the menu! Or something like that.

Maryz Sun 14-Jul-13 23:18:09

Hey everyone.

I have some good news.

ds1 passed all his exams. He now has a qualification, and no-one will ever ask him why he didn't sit his school leaving cert. He is also almost human and is talking to me occasionally.

He hasn't been arrested for 18 months shock.

I know to some of you starting down the adoption route this will scare the hell out of you, but I am so proud of him gringringringringringringringringringringringringrin

<goes back to read thread>

Devora Sun 14-Jul-13 23:36:59

Congratulations to you and your ds, Mary smile

That is fantastic news; what a long way he's come. I hope he is feeling well chuffed.

TerribleTantrums Sun 14-Jul-13 23:42:43

Good for him Maryz. grin (You know me by another name that I don't want to be searchable, but it's fibrous and starts with a 'b'.)

DS has been diagnosed with ASD, which is good (in a way) as they are recommending a full-time SNA. I doubt we will get funding for a full-time SNA but at the moment we are paying for one ourselves so even if we get funding for a part-time position it will be great.

Summer is feeling pretty long at the moment, I'm looking forward to September after only two weeks. grin

Lilka Mon 15-Jul-13 00:05:00

That's fantastic Maryz smile smile

Be very very proud of yourself as well!!

I have mixed feelings about summer. I know the routine change etc is going to upset DD2 a lot. And the long days with no distraction might drive her back to seeing her first mum.

On the plus side - By the time autumn term starts, I will be able to cradle a second newborn grandchild in my arms smile

Italian I miss those days, now even DS (8) insists on browsing the menu thoroughly, even when he doesn't understand little bits. I think he wants to feel grown up!

Meita Mon 15-Jul-13 09:18:52

Congratulations Maryz! Sounds like you (both, as in, together) have come a long way, yay for you!

Personally, I'm really enjoying the hot weather. But that's because I have a nice cool house (it gets very cold in winter, is the downside) and rarely need to leave it, as I work from home. I find the travelling around in the heat the worst part of it. Also, DS is basically naked whenever he's at home, I like not having to worry about clothes smile

Maryz Mon 15-Jul-13 14:29:06

Hi Terrible, I was wondering where you had gone. We should meet up at some stage, maybe when the kids are back in school.

Thanks everyone. I love the summer now they are teenagers and basically amuse themselves. I produce dinner at 7ish and do a fair bit of washing, but other than that I can enjoy the weather.

And we had our first family holiday away for years. At least, dh stayed at home with ds1, but I took dd, ds2 and a friend of his to France and had a fantastic time.

TerribleTantrums Mon 15-Jul-13 16:13:58

Yes, I would definitely like to meet up. smile I'm also not that busy between 10th and 24th August as H is bringing the DC away on holiday, but once school is back my schedule gets more regular again.

Roughly whereabouts are you? You can PM me if you prefer. I'm South D.

Does your DD2 do any activities in the summer Lilka? I find DS needs a few camps, particularly sporty ones, to get him through the summer.

Maryz Mon 15-Jul-13 17:54:15

I used to fill the summer for them, now they do it themselves. ds2 is occupied practically all the time he isn't asleep.

dd likes hanging around doing nothing.

ds1 was always the difficult one in the summer holidays. The trouble with AS is that he always only had one major interest on the go, and would be obsessed with that one thing. If it was something that wasn't around in the summer, we were screwed. He had no "inner resources" or ability to entertain himself so summers were hard work. I mostly filled them with sports camps too.

I'll have a look at the kids' extensive social diaries and pm you smile

Moomoomie Mon 15-Jul-13 20:58:05

maryz that is fantastic news, all your hard work ( and his ) have paid off.
Well, today I have been thoroughly spoilt, as it is my birthday. The sun has shone. ( St. Swithins day, so good that there has been no rain )

Devora Mon 15-Jul-13 23:01:26

Hello ladies. Steam-out-of-ears update: our CM today was supposed to have dd2 till 4, but dp agreed with her to bring her back at 3 - has to be 3 because dp had to pick up dd1 from school. 3pm came and went, phone calls to mobile went unanswered, no CM. So dp left message on CM's phone to say off to school, back in ten minutes.

You know what CM did? She arrived, found no-one in, neighbour helpfully said, "you can leave dd2 with me". So she DID. She doesn't know him from chuffin Adam. When dp got back, dd2 - who has attachment problems we have discussed with CM - was hysterical sad.

That's really bad, isn't it?

TerribleTantrums Mon 15-Jul-13 23:20:10

shock That is terrible Devora, poor DD2. What do you plan to do?

Devora Mon 15-Jul-13 23:26:33

dp thinks that, despite the problems, we should stick with her because dd2 loves her and it would be massively disruptive to change her CM just as she starts afternoon nursery.

I think we should drop her now. I actually think she is pushing for us to drop her (there has been a long, long chain of events with this CM that I won't bore you with now). And I think that her tremendous impatience with dd2's neediness is making dd more anxious and more clingy.

But I think the first step is to talk to her - tomorrow - and her response will probably make our decision easier, one way or another.

WouldBeHarrietVane Mon 15-Jul-13 23:31:23

Devora, I'm not an adopter, but that cm is awful sad how can you be impatient with a child that needs stability and affection due to previous bad experiences? I think you are right.

I had a very bad experience with a nanny who cared for my DS and who found him too needy and clingy (he is my birth child, but a very high need toddler). I wish we'd got rid of her immediately tbh but it lingered on for some weeks until she gave notice.

Lilka Tue 16-Jul-13 12:44:25

Devora shock

That's appalling, your poor wee girl sad

Honestly, if I was in your position, I'd drop the childminder, I just would never ever trust her again if she thought it was acceptable to drop off a child like your DD2 with an unknown neighbour

TerribleTantrums DD2 doesn't do well with camps etc at all. We do do activities, but they need to be very specific things and no overnights. There used to be a lovely weekly crafts thing which happened once a week in the holidays we used to go to, but it's stopped now. I'm planning lots of going out biking and walking, swimming etc

Sent DD2 and DS to school/college today - and it fully hit me that I'm on the very last week of school. Why?!

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