I have a rather 'how-long-is-a-piece-of-string' question regarding the possibility of how realistic it is to think I'll be able to maintain my career after adopting a child. I think I am as realistic as it is possible to be about what is involved without having yet embarked on the process (i.e probably not very ) and I do realise that it is not possible, with all the good will in the world, to judge how much (and what kind of) care and attention a child will need until they have been with you for a while, and even then they may develop needs along the way (e.g. at school age/as teenagers) that they did not have as a two- or three-year-old, which is the age we would hope to adopt.
DH and I have birth DD age 4 and are potentially planning to embark on the process of applying to an LA in around 18 months' time. We have done a lot of legwork in terms of an LA that might take us on, and had a very promising face-to-face meeting with a lovely senior SW, who seemed favourable to us and advised us that when we were ready we should come back to her directly, could skip info events and she would have a SW come to see us and we could take it from there.
I am pretty sure this is what I want, DH slightly less so although very open to the idea. I am not attached to having another BC, and have always wanted to adopt, he is still not quite there as he would, in an ideal world, like another baby (although not desperate). I am 40 he is 46, though, so time running out for BC in any case.
Anyway, if you've read this far (thank you), the only sticking point I can see for me - and I am really giving this a lot of thought - is that I love my job/career, and can't see myself ever being able to give it up. It forms a very strong part of my identity and I don't think I could bear to go completely freelance or do less than three days a week. I work in a very female industry, where it is common for women to take a year for mat leave, so adoption leave wouldn't be a problem - it's more a case of what happens afterwards.
DH likes his job/career, but not attached in the way that I am. We have always done equal childcare (in fact he did more until recently and is an amazing dad with huge reserves of love and patience).
Anyway, would really like to get perspective from experienced adopters to whom career was important on how things have worked out for you. Apologies if I take a little while to come back, as am at work (obvs!).
Thanks so much in advance.
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36 replies
booksshoescats · 26/03/2013 11:34
OP posts:
Maryz ·
17/04/2013 16:14
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Message withdrawn at poster's request.
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