Pre training workshop

[Italiangreyhound]

Hi all

Our area runs a pre-training workshop, it covers 'loss'. I think it is run by an outside agency. Has anyone experienced this, please, and can anyone enlighten me a little, please?

Thanks and all the best.....

[Devora]

No I haven't, but it sounds like a good idea.

[Kewcumber]

I did a "consultation day" which was worthwhile - if only to meet other adopters and to start feeling part of the community.

[Italiangreyhound]

Thanks so much.

[snail1973]

Yes, we did one, also run by an outside agency. It was pretty good. Have to say that it wasnt a subject that massively affected me but for others it was clearly a big issue. It was all about grieving for the loss of your birth child ie. being accepting that you are not going to have a child with your genes, they probably won't have your eyes/nose/hair etc, may not have your IQ, may not be good at the things you are good at. So you need to let go of all those images you have of palying football in the park with a mini me, and try to be open to a different child. Hope that makes sense.

[Kewcumber]

I have found letting go of the "mini-me" fairly easy though I know everyone is different. I also believe that my lack of expectations of DS have allowed me to foucs on him and what he's good at without any preconceptions.

CAVEAT: of course I'm sure many birth parents can do this but I suspect I wouldn't have been one of them!

[Italiangreyhound]

I'm not too worried about new child not looking like me or DH, I had kind of expected another birth child (have a DD) and so I must admit it is the fact the child will not look my DD that is the funny thing.

BUT I know it is not important and I will get order it, better to be open about one's feelings though.

Thanks

[Italiangreyhound]

get over it !!!!!!!!!!!!

[Moomoomie]

Kew.... I understand about the letting go of "mini me". We look at our three beautiful, clever, artistic daughters and say to each other " can you imagine how ugly our birth children would have been"
Seriously, it wasn't an issue for us.
Italian..... It may be worth you attending, just so you are doing something tangible towards your journey ahead, as I know, for you it has been a long journey to get this far. All goes in your favour with the SW too.

[HappySunflower]

Ours was called a 'Grief, loss and motivation' day.

It explored feelings and perceptions around not having children biologically.
We also discussed and heard from children and young people about how it felt to lose their birth family, and be taken away from all that they knew.
Choices/decisions around why people opt to adopt was also covered.

It was directly followed by the 3 day prep group training- so we did 4 days in a row which was very heavy going.
Since out cohort they have split them up, so prospective adopters now do the first day, have a 2 week break, and then do the prep group over 3 consecutive days.

[Italiangreyhound]

Thanks, so much.

We had not really considered not doing it, I kind of thought it was compulsory! But even if it were not, I am all eager and ready to go!

What do I wear!

[Devora]

Another one here whose adopted dd is far prettier and cleverer than I will ever be . I'm obsessed with the perfection of her little nose - I could never have produced that!