adopting my step chid

[juejue37]

hi all . my husband wants to adopt my son which he has bought up from the age of 1 . his birth father dosent want anythink to do with him just wondered if any one knows is i have to contact social services first or the solictor thanks

[littlebluechair]

Hi, this is a legal process, your husband can't adopt without birth father giving up their parental responsibility. Does the birth father have parental responsibility? First step would be a solicitor.

If adoption is not an option for your circs, securing parental responsibility would be fairly straightforward for you, again you need to see a solicitor.

[TroublesomeEx]

Hi

I was in a similar position to you. I contacted the SS adoption team for advice and was told that I had to seek the biological father's permission .

My DS was 7 at the time, has still never met his father (he's 13 now) and my DH has been his dad since DS was 13 months old.

The SW asked why DH wanted to adopt him. I told them. It was because he is his 'dad', we had had another child and wanted our family to be protected in law if anything happened to me and to know that he was part of our family.

I'll never forget the patronising smug reply "yes, but he already has a family, doesn't he?" meaning his paternal family who've never made any effort at all despite my early efforts!

She said that we had to put posters up/adverts in the newspaper/make whatever efforts we could to make contact with his father to seek his permission, but we should also be aware that doing so doesn't often result in permission being given but can rouse the absent father's curiosity and we needed to be aware that he might decide he wanted some involvement afterall.

So we decided not to bother.

So that was our experience of contacting SS. I don't know what a solicitor would advise, probably similar. Oh and we were also told that DH would have to undergo a SW assessment to assess his suitability to adopt.

There's more info here

Good luck

[Lilka]

It's not common for the courts to make an adoption order without the consent of the biological father, so if you think he would give his permission, then seeking that first would be the best thing. If he won't then it's quite a bit harder, but maybe still possible. Things that would count in your favour would be a complete lack of parental interaction, lack of support (including child support payments), history of abuse etc. On the other hand, if there has ever been a meaningful relationship, contact etc between child and him, the courts would be very reluctant to sever their legal connection

I don't know who you would contact first, but SS need to be given notice that your DH wants to adopt, and you go through an assesment from them, which is submitted to the courts

[Lilka]

There is information here Step Adoption there is a second page saying something about the process and filling in forms