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Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.

Adoption

Newbies

999 replies

Italiangreyhound · 12/09/2012 01:36

Hi I am a newbie and only just started this journey, officially made the call last week.

Just interested how may other newbies are out there who are still in the early stages. I keep coming across people and recognising names. Anyone want to let on what stage they are at?

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funnychic · 12/09/2012 06:30

Hiya and welcome, I'n not that new and approved. you will be in my position before you know it, try and enjoy. xx

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Lovesoftplay · 12/09/2012 08:39

Not a newbie either, but funnychic is right, you will soon be there x x

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LocoParentis · 12/09/2012 21:07

Hello

We're waiting for the initial social worker visit.

I'm glad there are a few of us going through it at the same time, we'll hopefully be able to support each other and share our experiences.

x

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calmlychaotic · 13/09/2012 00:00

Same as you made the call last week, got to wait till end of October for an open evening and then home visit after that. Social worker phoned and introduced herself couple days ago. There does seem to be a lot of people on here just starting out now. Good to have the support.

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Italiangreyhound · 13/09/2012 00:35

Hi Funny, LSP, loco and Calmly - hope those abbreviations are OK?? Thanks for saying hi. I am excited but scared. Been vaguely thinking about this for 20 years! definitely considering it for about 5. Long journey just to get to this point!

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Lovesoftplay · 13/09/2012 08:18

It is a long journey (not so much the actual assessments etc, but the decision making before you start) but it will fly by now. So exciting :)

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Italiangreyhound · 13/09/2012 22:02

At the moment I feel more nervous than excited!

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Karbea · 13/09/2012 22:08

Hello,

I made the call yesterday and had a long chat with the social worker. Open eve is nov 20th, nothing but reading to do till then...

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Italiangreyhound · 13/09/2012 22:27

Good luck Karbea, exciting time. Let me know if you read any good books.

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mrsballack · 13/09/2012 22:58

Hiya.

I'm a newbie too. We submitted our initial forms and are waiting for our first home visit. Having a nightmare with try

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mrsballack · 13/09/2012 22:59

Whoops hit the button too early. Damn iPhone.

We are having nightmares trying to get a consent form from our Local authority. They claim to have sent it twice but we've not received it and they are quite rude when I ph

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LocoParentis · 14/09/2012 20:55

Is it worth trying a different local authority? If they are problematic this early on, what will they be like when you need there support

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Italiangreyhound · 16/09/2012 10:10

Hi nembies, how are you all today?

I hope all well.

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LocoParentis · 16/09/2012 11:16

Hi Italian,

Today I am reading 'what every parent needs to know' by Margot Sutherland and obsessively overanalysing the profiles on bemyparent!

I'm totally sure we're doing the right thing but the nerves and self doubt have really started to set in now. I'm sure I'll feel better once the initial visit is over with.

I did manage to switch off from everything for a little while and have ordered a new coat Grin.

How are you feeling?

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calmlychaotic · 16/09/2012 23:10

Hi loco.
Do you recommend the book? Going to get myself down to the library this week. Anyone else got any recommendations?

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Italiangreyhound · 16/09/2012 23:35

Hi Loco I felt very stressed today as my DD was being really naughty and I wondered how I would cope if I had two who were both being really naughty at the same time!

How do you get hold of be my parent? Can you read it on line or is that a totally dumb question? I have seen a hard copy of it but it was so long ago and I didn't really know much then!

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Italiangreyhound · 16/09/2012 23:47

OK, have found Be my parent on line. It is very interesting. I am assuming that these kids are not using their real names and photos because some don't seem to match the ages! It is pretty weird just reading the details and knowing they are all real children! We are so much at the start of the process that it all seems so far off! Must ask a question of the more experience lot about 'Be my parent'! Feel free to pop over and answer it if you know!!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/adoptions/1565998-Be-my-parent-how-does-it-work

Thanks.

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Italiangreyhound · 16/09/2012 23:47

mrsballack did you get the form in the end?

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Italiangreyhound · 17/09/2012 00:00

Oh it's just breaking my heart looking at Be my parent! In a funny way I needed to think about the children, because getting ready for adoption I am thinking about me, will I cope, what will they think or me, etc etc and actually forgetting the children!

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Tigglette · 17/09/2012 20:46

Can I join in too please, we've been to the open evening and have completed initial paperwork - social worker is sending us for an early medical because we're both overweight (currently dieting like mad...). She thinks it won't be a problem as long as we bring our weight down but wants a medical before our prep course. All very exciting and scary and happy and frightening, but glad to have the process underway.

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Italiangreyhound · 17/09/2012 20:53

Tigglette all the very best luck losing weight. If you do manage it you can change your name to .....twiglett! I am struggling with my weight too, I've been overweight for years but now am thankfully losing weight. I managed to avoid donoughts and fried chicken and went for prawns, bread and salad instead!

Good luck and all the best.

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Tigglette · 17/09/2012 21:26

I'm a v long way from being a twiglett - more of a tree trunk but I'll get there... Avoiding donuts and fried chicken and wine is a good starting point for me.

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LocoParentis · 17/09/2012 22:24

Hi everyone,

Tigglette you're not alone, both my DH and I are overweight. We're hoping they'll be alright about it. I definately feel able to look after a screaming toddler or two. We're both open to losing weight as it's something we both want to do anyway.

Calmly - it's definately interesting, very easy to read it's not aimed at adoptive parents just parents in general but as i don't have any children (yet) I wanted to at least get some research down into parenting techniques. I read somewhere they may ask you what your parenting technique is so i thought i'd better learn some! I've ordered Real parents real children which looks really interesting i'll let you know when it arrives.

Italian - two being naughty together is what is keeping me awake at nights too. We're hoping to adopt siblings and my worst worst worst fear is two toddlers holding hands and running away from me at speed. I suppose whats been comforting me is that I would cope as i'd have no choice but to cope. And the days when they are both making you tear your hair out will be far outweighed by the better days, or the days when they go off and play nicely together :).
In answer to your question about how soon to tell the social workers about DD's behaviour I would straight away. I think it will actually stand you in good stead the fact that you have recognised it and are dealing with it constructively.

I can only see the public profiles on be my parent it's just really to get an understanding of the 'types' of children awaiting adoption, i.e usual age of sibling groups, health probs, foetal alcohol, attachment etc. It's really really premature but I'm an over thinker what can i say.

Also big news in the parentis house tonight. Our sw called and asked if she can pull forward our initial meeting to the 24th of Sept so they can sent us on the prep course starting friday 28th of Sept. Shock Shock Shock.

I'm not nervous about it i'm terrified!

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Italiangreyhound · 17/09/2012 22:40

loco really hope all will go well. Yay, 28th Sept, how exciting.

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Italiangreyhound · 17/09/2012 22:43

Loco and Tiglette I am watching The Biggest Loser, it is an old series from USA and then later this week from Australia. It is on every weekday after noon at 14.00 until 15.00 and sometimes also from 15.00 to 16.00. It is on Pick TV, which is number 11, and I try and record it daily to watch for inspiration each night!

Good luck. Wow, it's all happening on here!

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