Got our court date... ???

[oinker]

Hiya,

We got our court date for the Adoption Order......
The court letter states we can be excused from the hearing in order to ensure we have no contact with the birth family should they decide to attend. Of course we can attend and hide out somewhere closeby. If the order is not contested we get a phone call to pop into court and sign the register. We also have the option of going back to court on another date for the pronouncement hearing....
What i'm really after are some opinions...
What should we do? What did you guys do? Should we risk contact with birth family or just leave it.
We have had no contact with them as they have understanderbly refused to meet with us.

[shivster1980]

Congratulations

We weren't invited for the first hearing only the pronouncement hearing.

It is worth having that one all to yourselves.

It's short, our judge let our DS sit in his chair for the photos and then we went out for a meal after. Was lovely

[Lilka]

I didn't actually attend either of my girls final hearings. First one, it wasn't safe..huge security issue. The second time, DD2's mum contested, and it just didn't feel right for me to be there..not because there was a security issue, there isn't, but because it was her last chance to fight for DD and though it was certain she wouldn't win, it felt wrong for me to be there. I couldn't bear to witness her grief knowing that I was involved in it. I also felt she might be embarrassed if i was there, and it isn't something i would want to relate to DD2 were she to ask in later years.

Both times, just had the clebration hearing (I assume that's the same thing as pronouncement)

With DS, I did attend. His mum was in agreement with adoption this time (he is DD2 bio sib) and wouldn't be there, and I wanted to find out what actually happened at the hearing...nothing much is the answer!! Very quick and official


I think you have to go with your gut. The final hearing IME is nothing very special in practice...the balloons and presents are for the celebration hearing. If your DS biological family are a risk, it probably isn't sensible to go.

Also, if they are planning to turn up, and they don't want to meet you at all, I wouldn't go. It will be a day of great grief for them almost certainly, and I doubt if it were me i'd really want the a-family seeing that.

For me, the celebration hearing was the special time...kids, me, photos, smiling judge, a couple of balloons..that was the special hearing for me

:)

[oinker]

Thanks for the feedback.....

I sort of want to go in the hope they wont turn up then the hearing wil be done and everything finalised there and then. I just don't want to have to wait longer than necessary... Our DS is a baby so's he really wouldn't understand what was going on.
The court is a dump.....so will deffo have no family memebers with us on the day. We will have them all over after the event to celebrate etc......

We will make a decision over the weekend and write back to the court.....

[LittlePushka]

I read your meeting him tomorrow thread oinker and just wanted to say I wish it goes well for you ... . No advice to give you sadly, but thinking of you anyway. let us know how it goes for you -whatever your decision. (Yes, actually, I do have advice - massive cake, enormous balloon and enough fizz to launch him into the stratospher! )