I have 30 years experience in fostering and adoption but retired 4 years ago and have been working independently, mostly assessing kinship carers. I agree with most of what Mrs DeVere says but a few more points come to mind.
I am not really clear about your brother's position as the father of the child. Is there a reason why he he does not want the care of the baby, or is it that SSD have assessed him as being unsuitable. The fact that his name isn't on the birth certificate doesn't really matter as he can gain parental responsibilty quite easily via the courts if he is the father of the child.
I am assuming he does not want the care of the child?
It sounds as though the SSD have made the decision that the baby is not to be reunited with the mother and they therefore need to make plans for her future care. They do have a duty to look to see if anyone in the extended family is suitable to offer the baby a home, before placing for fostering or adoption. However with a baby of just 6 months they will be looking at a permanent placement i.e. adoption, residence order or parental guardianship order, so that she will have continuity of care when she moves from her short term foster placement.
The most suitable way for relatives to care for a child (known as kinship care) is really by way of Special Guardianship. This is just 1 step away from adoption. Whereas an adoption order once made is final and cannot be revoked, a SGO can be, but if the natural parents wanted to have the baby returned they would have to seek leave of the court and the judge would have to be convinced that their cirucmstances have significantly changed. Also the judge would take into account the length of time the child had been with the relatives and how any change of placement would adversely affect the child. SGOs are relatively new legislation and I honestly think it very unlikely that a child placed under such an order would ever be returned to the parent.
Relatives can apply to adopt, and this is something that you would need to discuss with the social workers.
OK - about the assessment. No of course social workers don't make surprise visits! All social workers areunder a great deal of pressures these days, so you may have to be patient before someone comes out to see you. You will be able to have a full and frank discussion with the sw and if it seems likely that the baby could be placed with you, then an in depth assessment will be carried out.
The assessment for kinship carers is the same as for anyone wanting to foster or adopt. It looks at more or less every aspect of your life and I usually visit people about 6 times, each visit lasting around 2 hours. There are no trick questions, it is simply a matter of ensuring that the applicants are going to be suitable to care for the child for the rest of her life. They will be looking for permanent care because of her age, so will be wanting you to consider applying for adoption or SG. They may talk of Residence Order but I would not go down that route, simply because there are no real guidelines attached to ROrders, whereas with SG Orders, the s.w. has to carry out an assessment of what support you will need, and judges will not make the order until they have that report. Clearly you will need financial support. The only trouble with this, is that it is discretionary and can be altered or withdrawn although it does state in the SG legislation that no placement should be broken down for financial reasons.
Finance is mandatory for fostering and I think some has suggested you foster to begin with, but as I said the SSD will be wanting to make a permanent arrangement for the baby, because she is so young.
To be perfectly honest, were I assessing you (and I appreciate I know next to nothing about you) I would be concerned that you have 3 very young children, one as young as 15 months, and I would wonder whether you had the stamina to cope with another child. You will also need to think of how your other children would be affected by another child joining the family. What about the 10 year old - how might he feel.
The baby in question is going to need a great deal more care than a birth child because of the fact that she has been removed from her birth mother and will ultimately move again from her short term foster placement. She will need parents who can understnad how unsettled she may be and have the time to devote to the baby to ensure that she learns to trust that adults will care for her.
As others have mentioned one of the big problems in kinship care, is whether the applicants can keep the child safe from the parents and ensure that they put the child's needs first and she does not get caught in any "crossfire" in conflict between yourselves and the birth parents. Some relatives can obviously feel divided loyalties but the soc workers must be absolutely confident that you would protect the child and put her needs first. Space would be a problem, maybe not whenthey are all little, but what about when they are teenagers!
I am not surprised that SSD have not contacted you before being made aware that you were interested in putting yourselves forward to care for this baby. All matters concering the parents, the baby, the legal issues etc are confidential.
I suggest you phone the SSD again and ask when a social worker will be able to visit you. As I said you may have to be patient, but don't worry because the soc works have a duty to assess any relative who does put themselves forward.
Hope I haven't confused you too much. I know you are being encouraged to contact FRG, but to be honest I would talk with the social workers first, who should be able to answer all your queries and help you to understand the process. Please don't be disappointed though if they are concerned at the fact that you already have 4 children, and 3 under 5's.
Please come back if you need anything clarified, or any more queries. It's one step at a time really and you need to keep grounded, and be honest with yourselves - can you honestly cope with a 5th child.