Would you be hacked off if you only got a small handmade present from a friend/relative?

[bintofbohemia]

We are skint. Horrendously skint. Dh is out of a job on Christmas Eve, how's that for Dickensian for you? Anyway, as such we have no money for presents, and will be going into debt to give people anything. I'm making some candles to give to people and will probably buy a few cheap bits for some of the children we buy for, but it's all going to look a bit paltry.

Just wondering if people are going to feel a bit hacked off if they buy us presents and get something very small in return? (I know it sucks, and it's hardly the festive spirit and all that, but that's not really how it works with some people, is it?!)

[AvadventCalendar]

I'd love it far more than yet another set of unimaginative smellies or box of Quality Street

[smackapacka]

Absolutely not. I'd rather not receive a gift in these circumstances as the money is clearly better off providing for you and your family.

This is not the time to go into debt. Really sorry for your situation that sucks.

[borderslass]

Not at all its the thought that counts, and more thought goes into something that is homemade.

[Bigbadmummy]

How about you just buy everybody a £1 lottery scratch card, put it in a card and say

"this time next year we could be millionaires Rodders.... but this year we are skint but we wanted to get you something. And it is the thought that counts".

I would hate for any of my friends or family to get into debt for a present.

And I would be thrilled to get a box of homemade biscuits or fudge, or a candle.

[MmeLindt]

No, I would feel annoyed with you if you had gone into debt to buy something that I did not need and could by myself if I wanted to.

Do you have a poundland near you? You can get some decent wee toys etc in there for very little.

My DB is on a low wage but insists on buying us a present and I always feel so guilty accepting it. This year he has said he will get us Amazon vouchers. I would rather he took his wife out for a pizza with the money.

[FlamingoCrimbo]

No, but if one of my friends did then I probably wouldn't be friends with them anyway!

[FlamingoCrimbo]

Meant 'if one of my friends didn't like hand-made stuff' not 'if one of my friends made me something'!

[QuintessentialShadows]

My best friend has always been rather lavish with presents for me and my 2 kids.
This year she gave me a batch of home made fudge for me, and small token gifts for my sons. I love her to bits, and know she is saving up for her wedding, and paying off credit card bills, and her contract will not be renewed this february. We would not have minded even if there were no presents.

Honestly, what matters is the friendship, and not the money spent on presents. Give your candles with pride, if your friends are real friends, they will understand.

[Shodan]

God no. I love homemade presents and, like MmeLindt, would hate to think that anyone had gone into debt to buy something I could buy myself.

Ds1 has made an iPod speaker thingy in DT at school and I said I would love that as my xmas present. I'm actually having quite a hard time persuading him that yes, it's more than acceptable and no, he doesn't need to buy something as well.

The lottery card idea is a good one though!

[Iklboodolphtherednosereindeer]

No - it shows more thought sometimes than just rushing into the local garage on Xmas Eve and buying a festive tin of de-icer
I'd really appreciate a handmade gift and would rather a friend did that than go into debt

[bintofbohemia]

Oh, you people are lovely. I imagine most of my friends would be ok with it, but there's one person particularly who is a bit materialsitic and I can imagine being a bit about it. It's just a bit , we've never been so skint before. (well, not as a family.)

[FlamingoCrimbo]

Bint - sorry, but personally I would love to think that someone has put love and thought and time into a present for me, and the friends I have are similar minded. I don't think I'd have the space in my life for friends who think that how much you spend on something is as important as the time and thought you spend on it!

[bintofbohemia]

I know - but you can choose your friends, it's the family that are a bit more tricky...

[FlamingoCrimbo]

Ok, put it this way - does it really bother you what they think? How much does their opinion matter to you? If you respect them and care about them a great deal, then fair enough. But if not (and I can think of a few people in my family whose good opinion I can take or leave!), then just go ahead and make them something and hope they like it, but try not to mind too much if they don't IYSWIM.

[wannaBe]

god no.

Imo too much of Christmas is about spending money we don't have on crap that people don't need.

It's the thought that counts, and if people are shallow enough to get pissed off at home-made gifts then really you don't need people like that in your life do you?

[MrsMattie]

I would honestly prefer something homemade than another Boots 3 for 2 toiletries set or celebrity perfume that will never wear.

[maxybrown]

If a person thinks that way anyway, you will never please them and very likely, if you had money to buy something, they probably wouldn't be happy with that either. You need to put yourselves first, but I bet you find you put in even more effort by making them something than you would buying something as you will be thinking about the individual more. Anyone can hand over a note in a shop or click a buy button. I think it is lovely. Hold your head up high and remind yourself what a thoughtful person you are being. Happy Christmas

[MadameDuBain]

I don't actually like the idea of most homemade presents much, especially food-based ones - however candles would be nice and would get used. But tbh I'd be equally happy with nothing. I think it's OK to say you need to cut back this year and would rather not exchange presents.

I'm working on this with my family as I find it all such a pain anyway. Have never really exchanged presents with friends which is a relief. there's no need.

[oldwoman]

I would feel really embarassed if you gave me anything at all in these circumstances.

[Laquitar]

Not at all. I love hand-made presents.

Like avadventCalendar, i prefer them to boring same every year box of chocs and smellies - especially 'recycled' ones (got them last year from Mary, kept them in the cupboard, will give them this year to Sarah, duty done).

Your presents will have thought and warmth and thats precious

[expatinscotland]

No.

[TheApprentice]

hi bint. I would be thrilled if someone made me a present, I think its lovely if people take time over something. and I'm sorry that your Dh hasnt found another job yet, fingers crossed for 2010. (thread hijack - my dh didnt get the job he interviewed for either). Take care.

[NotAnotherNewNappy]

This year my sis is making me thai green curry paste for xmas. I can't wait

2009 is the xmas of austerity, you would be surprised how many people are in the same position. You should mention that you are planning to keep xmas presents low key and personal this year. A few people have said this to us and it has taken the pressure off immensely.

[ineedalifelaundry]

No I certainly wouldn't be hacked off. I am in a very similar positionmyself this year. I am making chutney, fudge and buying very small (less than £5) gifts. I wish everyone would do this, regardless of how rich they are feeling. Christmas has become far too much about want and greed and expensive gifts.

[FlamingoCrimbo]

"I don't actually like the idea of most homemade presents much, especially food-based ones"

Why, Madame?