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Christmas

Pack the bags, we're going on a guilt trip

11 replies

SnotBaby · 08/12/2009 14:29

I have an elderly relative who always insists that she will "fall in with my plans", which is her way of saying "come and collect me from 400 miles away and arrange for everyone in the extended family to come to visit me at your house, preferably with a big dinner."

Now, because it has been firmly stated that SHE is falling in with MY plans, SHE is the one doing ME a favour.

This comment is usually supplemented with "You know me, I'm easy" and as the organisation of it all begins to get complicated, is usually rounded off with a nice, juicy "Don't let it worry you, love, I don't want to be a burden."

So then I am frazzled AND I have to reassure her that she is not being a burden.

How do relatives do this to us? How do I not see it coming every year?

OP posts:
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CitizenPrecious · 08/12/2009 14:34


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CitizenPrecious · 08/12/2009 14:34

years'

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Saltire · 08/12/2009 14:37

Are you related to me? > my elderly aunt (shes 84) says exactly the same thing

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SnotBaby · 08/12/2009 14:39

Saltire, mine's 82 - they must have had instructions printed in one of those magazines with the smiling inoffensive-looking women on the front.

LOL at "Nan tactics!!!!"

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jumpingbeans · 08/12/2009 14:43

It takes years to get this behavior down to a fine art, looks like she's passed with flying colours

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Saltire · 09/12/2009 07:59

Actually snotbaby, I checked with my mum and my aunt is 82.
She lives in the same town as my mum and DB and SIL, and complains aobut how hard she finds everything yet goes off in major huff if any otehr aunts/cousins etc want to stay at mums "to make it easier"

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HugeBaublesWhatDidISayRoy · 09/12/2009 08:00

She sounds like Nana from the Royle family

Poor you.

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MarthaFarquhar · 09/12/2009 08:26

On the first day of Christmas my true-love sent to me
A cantankerous old laydeeee!

We've got one too. DH's grandmother is currently pretending that she's not sure if she's too frail to come to us for Christmas Dinner. As she does every year.

She's 75, able-bodied, comes every year, visits now and again to see DD, and both of her children are having dinner here. But we must have the pantomime first.

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sarah293 · 09/12/2009 08:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

TeaOneSugar · 09/12/2009 12:00

My Mother is the queen of the guilt trip, and only 65 yet, last year she complained that Mil and Bil had arrived earlier than her the previous Christmas Day and DD had already opened their presents and what was I going to do about it !!!

I suggested that in future years she tries arriving a bit earlier .

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borderslass · 09/12/2009 12:10

I'm taking my mum who's 75 down to my aunts for Christmas my uncle died just over a month ago I volunteered to take her, she usually comes to us which means me going to collect her Christmas morning, but my aunt lives nearly 300 miles away so early start to get there and back in a day taking her on the Tuesday before Christmas.

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