Please help me win the argument I have with DH *every year* about Father Christmas

(137 Posts)
HuevosRancheros Thu 07-Nov-13 15:00:05

So, DH says that FC brings all presents. Even those from family and friends. I am a bit angry about this, as family and friends get no thanks. (well, they do, from us, of course, but that's not the same imo)

I think that FC brings the stocking and some presents, but that family and friends give presents too.

His argument, and I do get it, is that it doesn't make sense to a 5 year old that FC would bring some presents off the list, but that we and GPs get others. Also, FC leaves the non-stocking presents under the tree. How could family leave them there too? confused
(I really like coming down on Christmas morning to a tree with presents underneath, when there were none there the night before)
But I want DCs to show appreciation for the presents they get and say thank you, not so much to me and DH, but to others.

So, what does FC get in your house? And how do you explain to your DC why he brings some and you buy others?

I should say, DH is convinced that DD (5) will think about it too much and start to doubt FC's existence. Which would be sad, for us.

I think this is the final year we have the chance to 'change' the FC tradition... DD will question why FC has changed what he does next year!

MrsLoveBucket Thu 07-Nov-13 15:03:19

Santa brings some presents but they also get presents from family and friends. They should learn to thank people for their presents not just think Santa brings them a whole ton of gifts.

I also love seeing presents under the tree that have appeared overnight.

Do your kids then think nobody gets them anything apart from Santa? grin

Sirzy Thu 07-Nov-13 15:03:22

People tell father christmas what they would like him to make, and send him the money they he delivers them on christmas eve! That way people still get the credit/thanks for the present but still keeps the Santa idea alive (and when older can help explain why some children get more/less)

ChippingInBatshitArse Thu 07-Nov-13 15:03:53

She wont, she really really wont.

FC brings some presents off of their list/that he thinks they will like and he only brings them to good children.

People enjoy celebrating Christmas and buy each other presents as well.

Grandparents, other family/friends get the joy & thanks for bringing presents. His way is rude.

MrsLoveBucket Thu 07-Nov-13 15:05:20

I still don't understand why family and friends give their presents completely separate to Santa.

ChippingInBatshitArse Thu 07-Nov-13 15:06:05

Oh & it varies from home to home whether he brings the stocking type presents or the big ones. Around here he brings the stockings and a few medium sized presents. Parents get the 'Oh wow' for 'big' presents. After all he can't bring big & expensive present for everyone, so to be fair he brings the middley presents wink

MrsLoveBucket Thu 07-Nov-13 15:06:08

Sorry I meant why they can't give their gifts completely separate.

Pachacuti Thu 07-Nov-13 15:08:58

FC brings the stocking contents and nothing else.

Obviously, as he is very clever, he knows which things from your list your friends and relations were already planning to buy you (or even, if you have a birthday in January, which things they are planning to get you for your birthday), so he knows he doesn't need to get that stuff himself.

If you want FC to put some presents under the tree as well then I'd make sure that the bulk of the gifts from family etc. are there several days in advance and then the new exciting FC gifts turn up overnight in distinctive wrapping paper.

DS is nearly 9 and still believes in spite of being quite a bright child in other respects... grin

This is really something that needs to be brought up in the early stages of dating to check that couples are compatible: you'll see articles telling you to make sure that you are on the same page on money, children and discipline but seldom will you fins a columnist telling you to resolve the Santa Question before you seriously discuss marriage grin.

HuevosRancheros Thu 07-Nov-13 15:09:59

OK, to be devil's advocate (as DH will when I put these points to him)

If DD has 5 things on her list, and FC brings 3 of them, how did I know which he would get, in order to get the other 2?

And still.... does FC put the 3 things in her room with her stocking, so everything under the tree is from us? or does he leave big stuff under the tree.... in which case, when did we put our stuff under there? confused

I'm sorry, but I don't like the idea of us sending money to FC. I can't get my head round it, don't see why she would!

HuevosRancheros Thu 07-Nov-13 15:10:44

Sorry, x post

In our house:

You ask for one/two gifts from santa and his elves. He will MAKE and BRING these and a stocking if you are good.

In addition to that, parents, grandparents etc may choose to buy you things and will send these to santa. If you have been good he'll BRING these presents on xmas night when he delivers the rest. Santa and his elves only make presents for children so we will buy gifts for adults ourselves and we can choose to give them ourselves or send them to santa to deliver.

This means that santa still comes but the relevant people get thanked including dh and i!

Sirzy Thu 07-Nov-13 15:11:24

If DD has 5 things on her list, and FC brings 3 of them, how did I know which he would get, in order to get the other 2?
Surely you would just talk to father christmas?

seems you are both trying to over complicate the whole thing!

HuevosRancheros Thu 07-Nov-13 15:11:37

DH and I have been together for 19 years, this is causing us most strife ;)

CheeseandPickledOnion Thu 07-Nov-13 15:12:40

Friends and family ask FC to leave presents from them. They get a thank you that way. smile

HuevosRancheros Thu 07-Nov-13 15:12:52

I can talk to FC? shock

All communication has been by letter up to this point!

Pachacuti Thu 07-Nov-13 15:13:25

You didn't know which he would get. You are just an ordinary mortal. FC is special, so he knows which presents you are going to get. He knows when you are sleeping, he knows when you're awake, he knows when you've been bad or good -- knowing which Christmas presents you've bought isn't exactly a big stretch for him.

The things could go with the stocking (that's how I'd do it, actually) or appear as an extra pile under the tree. We always (well, when we don't have a wrapping paper-obsessed toddler) put gifts under the tree several days in advance to build up tension excitement, but FC will have to add his overnight when he delivers the stocking.

exexpat Thu 07-Nov-13 15:16:02

The older your children get, the more they will hear from friends 'my parents gave me an xbox', 'I got this lego set from my granny' etc - and they will find it very puzzling that no one in their family seems to give presents, and to my mind, that will make them twig the whole santa claus thing much earlier. I think your DH has got it wrong about which way round will make DD question santa sooner.

If santa just does stockings (which I think is the most common thing), or stockings plus one or two bigger presents under the tree, and everything else comes from named people, it will be easier to keep up the pretence for longer.

I also think it's pretty bad to tell your child that presents from other people are from santa, so they never get thanked. And how long will it be before someone forgets (or disagrees with...) the way you are explaining it, and asks DD if she likes the XXX they gave her, so giving away the game entirely?

RhondaJean Thu 07-Nov-13 15:16:42

Ahhh your dh is Sooo wrong.

If Father Christmas brings all of the presents, then how come children your little one KNOWS have been naughty this year still get Xmas presents?

Obviously other people buy some. But only good children get the magical Santa presents. The rest are just from Argos.

DropYourSword Thu 07-Nov-13 15:17:03

I could be wrong about the grilling interview tattoos and techniques of young children but...are you not over thinking this a little? I thought you could tell a child any old bunch of twaddle and they'll accept it when it comes to Santa?!

Hiphopopotamus Thu 07-Nov-13 15:17:34

When I was growing up we always did small stocking presents from Father Christmas, and big presents from family. I do think it's important that friends and family get the credit and the thanks for the presents they choose and buy. It was a good compromise as we still had the magic of FC (putting out mince pies at night for him etc)

Hiphopopotamus Thu 07-Nov-13 15:18:21

Meant to add however - Father Christmas was always the one who collected up the presents from friends and family and put them under the tree on Christmas Eve!

DeputyDeputyChiefOfStaff Thu 07-Nov-13 15:18:23

In our house, FC brings stocking presents - maybe a book, a toy, some chocolate and one or two small bits and pieces like socks or a flannel with a favourite character on. He also often brings a family present of a board game. Everything else is from whoever gives it - one present from us, one from grandparents etc. FC uses the list for inspiration only and doesn't guarantee to bring everything from it. He doesn't bring huge presents (like a bike or an iPad) because, after all, he has a lot of children to give presents to! He knows - magically, of course! - what other people are buying, so he won't bring the same present as someone else. FC is very clever and very magical grin

Pascha Thu 07-Nov-13 15:19:47

Oh god, how complicated. I was brought up with FC bringing stocking tat and actual proper presents came from whoever with label on and everything and thats the way I will do it with DS's.

Mogz Thu 07-Nov-13 15:24:10

Santa always bought us our stocking presents and one big joint present for myself and my brother. All other gifts came from everyone else.
Tbh I don't ever remember questioning how there was no duplication, I was just overjoyed to have some new toys.

LoveAndDeath Thu 07-Nov-13 15:24:50

In our house, Santa brings all the presents we buy the kids

Grannies and others buy a gift, wrap it and give it before Christmas. They are then left under the tree till Christmas day.
Presents from Santa are not wrapped and just magically appear

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