Those of you with mothers who make Martha Stewart look slack,how do you cope when you're hosting Christmas?

[MilaMae]

Some time ago I foolishly offered to host Christmas as my mother( ex forces wife) has always done it,putting mountains of hard work into it.I figured I ought to try and pay her back a little.

But here's the thing. I don't have crockery for every different occasion(a few chipped Ikea 360 plates),a complete set of cutlery even chairs.I also don't have boxes of decs(colour themed)enough to dec the whole house,table trimmings(including seasonal table confetti), a freezer stocked with homemade everything(even mincemeat) made in Oct,a wine cellar ...... All I've bought is 1 packet of Stollen bites from Lidl and 1 bottle of Lidl Gluwein(pretty pic on bottle).

I'm now crapping myself and don't know where to start.Starting to wish I'd kept quiet which is bad.Last year when we were on our own we were all in PJs until 3pm so none of the above an issue. Feeling very inadequate, fundage/time limited. Don't know where to even start. Just burying my head in the sand hoping it'll all go away.

She's going to dsis this weekend who is equally as talented in the art of entertaining. Dmum was always good at all this and crafting etc even when she had tiny children so I can't pull that card.I really need to make everything look like I've made an effort but how does one do that with limited time,money etc?



Help me.....please [begging emoticon]

[Slubberdegullion]

right then

The lidl gluwein is an excellent start. I would get more of that for a start. A LOT more.
ditto stollen.

Don't waste any more energy fretting about decorations and mismatched chairs. You get Country Homes and Gardens (like my mother) and every festive interior is a cobbled together wholesome scene. Don't even try to make things match. Home made and retro is so in now it hurts.

Food: have you Delia's Christmas? I highly recommend it as there is a 2 page spread at the start (not of a naked deliah) of all the things you can freeze. You can freeze pretty much everything for christmas day.

If Delia is too much then this months GoodHouseKeeping has the full run down of everything you need to cook. GHK recipes are foolproof ime

[Slubberdegullion]

candles

candles on the table

tea lights in Ikea votives. Charming and twinkly.

candles and food is all you need on the table.

[Slubberdegullion]

Is there something your mother does craply?

My mother is quite rubbish at pastry. Can you trump your mother in something?

You could always trump her with the gluwein. That stuff is seriously good. Put some ameretto in too.

[Chatelaine]

What's all this "trumping" about? Why not go for the goodwill option and ask your mum for the crockery, cultlery etc. In her shoes and in these times I would be thrilled to be asked. It will also save you loads and you will have included her and possibly others in the arrangements. I often hear a lot of bitching about all the Christmas preparations falling to one person, so don't take it all on if you don't want to. Surely it will make for a happier atmosphere and be more fun? You will still be the host.

[MilaMae]

I've got the Delia book and the Ikea lights/votive glasses. .So how do I do the home made vintage,thrown together table thing?Think I have a white tablecloth somewhere.I don't have napkins,napkin rings..... etc though.Are there any good cheap Vintage Xmas on a shoestring craft sites anywhere?

Do I order a turkey now,veg etc?????I need a nice cheap free range turkey.

Last year we were iced in and my dad had to get his 4X4 out so I could go and pick up my pre-ordered M&S turkey(that he wasn't even eating). Bless him.I ended up jogging half a mile as he had to ditch me at a roundabout. Just can't do that stress again so I'm thinking pick up maybe a no no.If you order stuff and get it delivered do they always deliver whatever the weather?When it's just you you don't care.

What about chutneys,canapes and all that stuff. Just can't ask mum to bring her own chutney. She does boiled ham,spiced apricots,an array of chutneys(all home made and lovely),canapes,nibbles etc.I just can't do all that,don't have jars etc. Shop bought stuff isn't the same.If I was rich I'd do a massive Riverford order(and live with the potential non delivery stress) but I'm not. Doesn't help that we're all foodies.I

God I sound like Gillian McKeith.

I could do my Cranks party nuts and Nigel Slater Christmas cake.The chutneys,canapes etc though.The cost is scaring me a little.

Thanks

[domesticsluttery]

Just do it differently.

MIL has very set ways of doing Christmas. When DH and I got married I wasn't going to start competing as she had had 40 years more practice than me. I also know that she had a rocky relationship with her MIL as she didn't do things "the right way".

So I do things very differently, she has starters and I don't, we do different veg, she always does trifle but I do one on Boxing Day etc etc. The first year she was a bit but ten years down the line she has got used to the fact that I do it my way and she does it hers.

However if DH prefers MIL's Christmas he is not allowed to mention it in my hearing

[Beattiebow]

don't do it all. You can't compete, and surely no one expects you to? isn't it all about having everyone in one place and eating an edible meal. chutneys and everything are a Step Too Far imo, (unless you love doing all of that stuff).

the alternative which I am doing is allocating tasks/food to everyone who is coming. Your mum can bring chutney then if you want.

[Beattiebow]

it is just one day. just a roast meal. if it tastes lovely and is accompanied by lots of alcohol surely that's enough?

[Slubberdegullion]

heh heh Chatelaine. I love a bit of festive genteel trumping. Brings families together, a spot of cheese straw competitiveness.

Mila if you want your turkey from a butcher or m&s yes you need to order it now. Do you need free range? Turkey crowns are a good way to go if you're not feeding the 5000.

Ask your mum to bring her chutney.

Nigellas' ham in coke is the easiest recipe in the world ever and tastes v good.

[teenyweenytadpole]

I wouldn't try and trump her, I'd try and offer a completely different experience. So for example on Christmas eve if she normally does the whole boiled ham and chutney extravaganza could you so something completely and utterly different, like a big bowl of chilli, grated cheese, sour cream etc? If she does smoked salmon and scrambled eggs for breakfast you could do bacon and egg muffins - basically anything that is different that it does not look as if you are competing IYSWIM. You can buy, beg or borrow more plates - sainsbo's were doing half price on plain china recently but if you could borrow from friends so much the better. Ditto chairs - garden chairs if necessary, with a nice cushion on (that's what I do if we have more guests than chairs). I also would be open about it and ask for a contribution but in a way that makes it nice - so ask her to choose and bring a selection of cheeses, or some nice port, or biscuits, something specific. We are very skint this Christmas as DH unemployed but my inlaws are coming, she is bringing all fancy bits like crackers and I will do a big online shop for food and my MIL will give me half. They are just happy to spend time with us and the kids and be looked after for a change, they aren't bothered about how stylish it all is - and I am sure your Mum won't be either. (PS I am also going down the local woods to gather armfuls of holly and ivy and will be using it in abudance to decorate!)

[Slubberdegullion]

Don't buy decorations for the table. Or if you must just have table cloth and a bit of holly. napkin rings schnapkin rings. I have some random glass bowls that I fill up with nuts and quality street that sit on the table until all the food arrives.

crackers? I got mine in peacocks, £5 I think.

[Slubberdegullion]

no no no your are misunderstanding the festive trump

Don't try to trump the whole lot, that way madness lies. Do a tiny trump, like on your sausages in a blanket, do them snazzy and then you can casually point them out.

Do you lot not enjoy taking the piss out of your mothers a bit? In a loving way obv

[Slubberdegullion]

like with NOT on

Do not trump-trump on your tiny chipolatas
that would be weird and a little disturbing.

[domesticsluttery]

Oh yes. One year FIL said he really liked my tomato chutney and asked MIL if she could make some. MIL pointed out that she had been making tomato chutney for decades but that he always said he didn't like it. The glare MIL gave FIL made my Christmas

[taffetacat]

Agree with all the posters who say do it your way. Not your Mum's or Martha Stewart's.

We always get our turkey from Waitrose or M and S on Christmas Eve, sometimes they reduce them......

A good cheap place for excellent chutney will be your local WI country market. Homemade and if you decant it, noone need know you didn't make it yourself.

I never do a starter, my mother always did. IMO its too much I just do some nibbles at midday as we don't eat til 3. Buy some cocktail blinis from the supermarket now and freeze them. Defrost Xmas Eve. Heat gently under grill to toast them either side then top with sour cream, a little smoked salmon and a sprig of dill. Squeeze a little lemon juice over and a grinding of black pepper. For this sort of thing, which looks fabulous, you can buy smoked salmon trimmings which are much cheaper, as you only need a wee bit it doesn't matter how its cut, iyswim. Buy it now whilst its still in stock and freeze.

I think napkin rings are hideous. If you have proper napkins, then they can be tied with festive ribbon.

Keep the main meal simple. Don't do too many veg dishes/sides. Lots of sausages wrapped in bacon, enough roast pots and parsnips and then small amounts of everything else.

[Chatelaine]

teenyweenytadpole, that's more like it Good will to all men, including mothers and MIL's. Dare to be different.

[MrsVincentPrice]

I agree with everyone else - do it your way, don't try to compete on stuff you're obviously outclassed on, prepare, prepare, prepare, write lists long in advance and use a good set of timings for the meal.
But I also admit to a sneaky devotion to the teeny trump. DM has Martha Stewart tendencies, and outhousewives me in almost all departments but for some reason she thinks that bread sauce and stuffing out of a packet are acceptable so the fact that I always do mine from scratch gives me a tiny morale boost.
Can DM bring down her Christmas crockery with her?

[Beattiebow]

see my mother's cooking is crap, so I don't have any problems hosting Christmas meal.

she always has snidey comments about the tate of my house though ("I don't know how you can have people round with your house like this, i wish I was as relaxed as you are"). I find it difficult not to get stressed about mess when she's around, but just try to rise above it. Alcohol helps.