How do you get EXH to see DC's?

(15 Posts)
GeetTallBird Sun 27-Jan-13 10:49:57

STBEXH had an affair, left me with mortgage, forced me to sell our house, I lost all the money I ever had and he started anew with a girl who already had 3 kids. They've since had a baby.

My trouble is that I can't get him to see our two children on a regular basis, I can't take him to court to force him to see them can I?

I try to be very amicable and nice with him, i cant be doing with getting upset anymore, but they are so desperate to see their daddy and they really want to stay overnight with him but he just keeps saying its not convenient. I've suggested one night a week and one weekend a month but he just laughed at me.

I've also asked if he could read to them two evenings a week but that's not convenient either.

Any ideas?

ProphetOfDoom Sun 27-Jan-13 10:59:40

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GeetTallBird Sun 27-Jan-13 18:43:23

They only see his mum and dad when he has them, last time was Boxing Day afternoon, though his mum rings me now and then.
He is an utter shit! Though I won't bad mouth him in front of DC's.

ProphetOfDoom Sun 27-Jan-13 18:55:41

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ProphetOfDoom Sun 27-Jan-13 18:57:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GeetTallBird Sun 27-Jan-13 21:57:54

Good idea on DC's ringing their grandparents more frequently, that's a really good idea.
I'm just so het up on being both mum and dad to my little ones that ideas like this don't cross my head!

ProphetOfDoom Sun 27-Jan-13 23:16:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Xenia Mon 28-Jan-13 14:22:56

You can't force it. I did know one man neither of whose parents wanted him so he was at boarding school and usually with friends in holidays but usually one parent is prepared to have the children. I wonder what his new woman thinks about the way he ignores his children?

GeetTallBird Tue 29-Jan-13 21:11:49

His new woman already has 3 of similar age, plus they have a baby now, so you'd think she'd be more understanding.
I'm wondering if there's some kind of app that would download the abusive texts that STBEXH has sent to me in reply to my asking when he will have his children to stay! That would help in mediation maybe and my little ones could read it if they wanted to- in 20 years time!

GeetTallBird Tue 29-Jan-13 21:14:13

schmaltzingmatilda yes he pays CSA maintenance, always pays it late though, and only after me asking!!!

ProphetOfDoom Tue 29-Jan-13 21:21:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Xenia Wed 30-Jan-13 10:35:24

When I get work texts I "forward as" email so I have a permanent record. I would forward them to your email account and even print them out, all of them. There may be some way collectively to email them all at once rather than one by one on the phone but I'm not sure.

GeetTallBird Wed 30-Jan-13 13:41:27

He's just said that he doesn't want DC's to go up birthday parties when he has them, what do you think?
I'm not sure DC's social life should be affected by him. Plus I reckon he should re integrate himself with the other Yr2 parents, as they all think he's a tosser, brownie points could be earned! smile

Xenia Wed 30-Jan-13 14:15:40

He's just being lazy about transporting them. We had a period when we hired someone (when we were married ) who helped out after school and she also did specifically the driving to distant parties for the 3 older children at weekends. It was a wonderful release. He could do the same - pay someone to take and collect from the parties. It's a good scheme. Chtating to the other parents can be a bit of a bore anyway. People are lucky to be able to avoid it.

GeetTallBird Fri 01-Feb-13 07:14:23

Haha, with three kids not his own, a baby and £1000 a month rent I dont think he can afford to do that, he's not even paid his half for DS's uniform. I drop DC's at his as he doesn't have any petrol and when I challenge him on this I am called a stupid woman.

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