TTC #2 and turning into a nut job!

(1000 Posts)
gemmeg Mon 18-Feb-13 07:13:21

Ladies, bring me back down to Earth before it's too late! I'm TTC #2 and its only the 2nd cycle and I'm already doing my own head in not to mention my OH.....we're not the kind of couple to have regular sex when not TTC (much to my disappointment sad) so it's a real effort for DS to, erm, pull his finger out as it were and DTD every other day. With DS1 I had no idea about CM and OPKs and just used an ovulation calendar for timing but this time round I'm in danger of falling into the OPK trap! I'm aware of my constant whittling and DH even said that he hopes I get pregnant this month so he doesn't have to listen to me begging for him to do it just one more time! Anyone in the same boat?

FelixCited Mon 18-Feb-13 07:20:34

Yes! But I do use opk (clearblue smiley face) and it has taken the pressure off doing it ALL the time ;-)
Month 3 for me and I go totally batty in the 2ww.
Symptom spotting counting down the days etc argh
But I don't talk about it with DP as I would drive him mad.. So it is my own private obsession ;)
Good luck

2beornot Mon 18-Feb-13 07:26:37

I'm in exactly the same boat. I'm having trouble getting DH to dtd too. It's the balance between babymaking and passion that I'm struggling with. And we've only dtd twice in each month we've been ttc (which doesn't really count as ttc IMO!)

Any tips?!

You really do need to take the pressure off your own self and your man now; if this is what you are like after 2 months of ttc then you could be heading for problems in your relationship further down the line. Trite as it is you really need to talk to each other.

Make love when you both feel like it, not only when you think its ovulation time. DTD every other day is also heading down the route of timed intercourse; again a very bad idea in a relationship.

Ovulation is not an exact science and it can occur earlier, later or not at all in any given cycle. OPKs are also not totally accurate either and can mislead. I would refrain from using these at all as these can also take the fun out of sex.

gemmeg Mon 18-Feb-13 08:32:50

This was my first month using OPKs but I definitely shan't bother with them again. I don't want to spend the money on the expensive ones and don't think the cheaper ones aren't necessarily giving accurate results.

FelixCited...I have banned myself from reading anything about symptoms in the 2ww! I think I must know about EVERY early symptom there is and have come to the conclusion that you may or may not have some or all of the symptoms whether you're pregnant or not smile.

I also have the problem that sex is seen as more of a task than anything else at the moment but TBH this has been a sticking point in my relationship for a long time. I have a higher sex-drive than DH and even if it were the other way round I'd make she effort for him....but anyway, I could start another thread on this subject alone.....we're otherwise a strong couple except for the sex bit!

2beornot.....it's difficult isn't it. You don't want to put "performance pressure" on them but the facts of biology are that there's a fertile window and you wanna catch it!

2beornot Mon 18-Feb-13 11:23:57

attila you talk sense, but it is so hard!! I have never used an OPK and would rather not start, but that does mean dtd more often. I tried this month to instigate an every other day is baby making sex, the other days were for fun (and may or may not lead to full sex). But I still thought I was pressuring him!

I think we need to talk (me and DH that is!)

gemmeg Mon 18-Feb-13 13:56:42

attila I would love to not have to think about ovulation and bloody fertile windows wink but as I mentioned before, we are not a couple that has sex regularly (not my doing) so if we were to just take it as it comes (no pun intendedwink) we'd be waiting an AGE. I envy those women who realise, oh whoopsidaisy, I'm pregnant. It just wouldn't happen like that for us.....

2beornot Mon 18-Feb-13 21:17:05

gemmeg I'm sure you're DH and I in an alternate universe (or city maybe). Except its me that's the reason for not having sex that often, so it's obvious why I suddenly want up do it all the time (and that's really not romantic)! When are you due to test? I'm the 26th.

pegster Mon 18-Feb-13 21:40:00

So good to know its not just me. We're TTC number 2 too and only on cycle 2. Got pregnant 1st month but was a chemical pregnancy. This month I've discovered the joy/stress of OPK's for the first time. I've not actually told DH I've got then though as he works abroad monday to friday so we can only DTD at the w-e anyway regardless of what the sticks say - cant believe I actually bought them!

winterpansy Mon 18-Feb-13 22:05:50

I'm one step ahead of you with nut-job-ness...
We have decided to go for TTC #2 as soon as we can, starting with the next cycle, and stupid AF is nowhere to be seen! I'm on cd36 and no sign of it. Have poas a few times but there would only be the tiniest minimal chance that we conceived last month. I have irregular cycles but the last few have been 28, 33, 28 (been tracking a while since we decided to definitely have another DC). I have OPK testing strips ready and DH is excited about another DC and also having lots of erm...bareback sex as it's been a while!

Come on AF. Come on OV. Come on BFPs (and our sanity back) for everyone!

Sorry...that turned into a bit of a ramble.....

gemmeg Tue 19-Feb-13 07:45:51

winterpansy you def not up the duff at the moment then? You might be one of the "whoopsidaisy" women I mentioned earlier wink. If not, then keeping my fingers crossed for the speedy return of your biological functions wink.

pegster love how you've bought the sticks even though you can only DTD at the wkend anyway! I've stopped doing them as I think they were playing with my mind too much. Haven't had a positive but have had all the other signs of ov....don't let them mess with your head too much esp if you only have a couple of days on which to BD anyway.

2beornot AF due on 1st....would love a BFP as I'm flying home to UK on 2nd to visit my family (I live near Vienna) and it'd be great to be able to surprise my immediate family with some good news.....trying not to get my hopes up too much though.

good luck fellow nutters! wink

winterpansy Tue 19-Feb-13 07:53:12

I wish gemmeg! Without going into tmi the chance would be miniscule. We haven't been 100% careful last couple of times DTD but timings etc. I think would be wrong. I would be delighted if I was though...if it hasn't arrived by Friday I'll poas again. DH would be raging (but very happy of course) - purely because he's looking forward to lots of dtd and when I was pregnant last time I slept 12 hours a night because I was so knackered! Feels weird thinking about all this stuff - DS was a total surprise even though I was on the pill so I've never given cycles and the rest much thought...until now. And it's all consuming!

Oh, fingers crossed for BFP before 1st for you - when are you going to poas?

gemmeg Tue 19-Feb-13 15:21:23

Af is due on 1st so if there's no sign then i'll test as, like I said, I'm flying home the next day and would like DH to be there if I get a BFP.

pegster Tue 19-Feb-13 15:40:24

My AF is due feb 26th but DH doesn't like me to test without him so undecided whether to test 'without cause' 2 days early on Sunday or to be good & wait for it to actually be late - can I wait 5 days though....!

winterpansy Tue 19-Feb-13 19:12:44

Well, AF has just arrived - must have been my whinging on here and your crossed fingers that has done the trick wink

So that it, I'm officially on cycle 1...

pegster Hmmm..I wouldn't be able to wait as I am so impatient - if you wait then you are very well behaved and sensible! Keep us posted.

We should keep this thread going for the upcoming poas-ness!

gemmeg Tue 19-Feb-13 19:17:11

Good to hear winterpansy!

I'd try to hold off testing....with DS1 I tested the morning AF was actually due and got a BFN. Threw the stick in the bin, fished it out half an hour later and found a v.faint pink line which led to me agonising over what it could mean for another 2 days until I tested again and got a proper BFP.

Let's keep each other posted!

2beornot Tue 19-Feb-13 20:15:39

I know of I were you pegster that I would be able to wait! I'm going to try to hold off until the 26th unless AF arrives by then. Should be easy this month tho as I don't feel like we've done it.

Exciting winterpansy. Hopefully wont be long til u ovulate - then you can join us crazy ladies!

Looking forward to the poas updates!!

2beornot Wed 20-Feb-13 18:36:35

Anyone inventing any early pg symptoms yet?! grin You wouldn't believe the ones I had last month!!

gemmeg Wed 20-Feb-13 19:33:39

Too early for me yet....only 3 dpo (or so I believe). Just got the usual abdominal pains and sore nipples when I BF DS1 which I normally get after ov.

2beornot Wed 20-Feb-13 21:27:37

Ahh of course! Well I guess I'm 8dpo so could have some but not noticed anything. Didn't with dd1 tho either.

pegster Wed 20-Feb-13 21:27:42

Yesterday I had myself thinking my boobs were tender but not noticed that today.
Have put some tesco pregnancy tests on the on-line shop today so that should bring AF in on-time wink

I came on here to write that but you got there first OP!

I'm only on the first cycle but I'm going crazy with symptom spotting. I have cramps, fatigue, sore boobs and (I know I'll have to eat my words, but...) I feel sure that I'm pregnant.

Of course DH is all 'just don't think about it, I bet you aren't pregnant so soon' and I find it really insensitive probably because I have PMT

I've POAS twice now, even though it's too early - I can't help myself!

This is for DC2 and I swore I wouldn't turn into a nutjob this time (DS took 3 cycles and I nearly lost my mind).

2beornot Wed 20-Feb-13 22:54:56

Welcome nomore!! When is AF due? Fingers crossed you get a 1st cycle BFP! With dd1 I got pg 1st cycle, so was kinda hoping and had convinced myself that was pg. lets hope now I'm convinced im not that I really am. 6 days til I poas!!

MrsHuxtable Thu 21-Feb-13 10:10:50

Oh haha, I can top all of you ladies with my nuttiness!

We've NOT EVEN STARTED ttc #2 yet and I'm already obsessed. DD is 1, I'm still breastfeeding and as a consequence have a luteal phase defect. We're starting ttc in April, 2 months to go but because I know things will be very difficult, I can't stop thinking about it. Evert day, I spend hours on here, google in general tofind stuff to help with my defect.

Am observing cm, using opk (both the cheap and the smiley face ones) and am dosing myself up with concetion vitamins and b6. DH, the poor bugger, is also on the vitamins and is banned from drinking more than 1 pint a week.

Ha! Told you I'm worse than you guys!

Hi 2be! AF is due on Saturday I think. I use the 'My Cycles' app and that says its tomorrow but I think that's wrong. Based on my interpretation i was too early testing when I did anyway. Guess I'll know for sure soon...

The more I think about it, it's so cruel that the symptoms are so similar to PMT. Then just when you need to be rational about a BFN, your hormones turn you into a crazy person. confused

I've symptom spotted before but I've never felt like this, just quite confident I am pregnant (balanced with a sense of impending embarrassment when I turn out to be wrong!).

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