To think that my dh's friend's girlfriend is being really rude when she shorterns our pfb's name.

(172 Posts)
mameulah Mon 18-Feb-13 13:07:50

The first time she did it he was five days old! Now she does it all the time, in texts, on cards, gift tags and everything. She has never once heard either of us use this nickname and it really, really winds me up!!!

I know my dh is right and it is not that important but I don't at all understand why she thinks it is okay for her to do this.

Has anyone else had to cope with this?

Sirzy Mon 18-Feb-13 13:13:34

Have you told her you don't like it? If not how is she meant to know?

Is it a normal nickname for the name you picked?

WorraLiberty Mon 18-Feb-13 13:14:28

Surely if she's sending texts, cards and gifts she's yours and your DH's friend?

But YANBU

You'll need to get over it of course when your child starts school, but it's a bit strange for an adult to instantly shorten a newborn's name.

georgedawes Mon 18-Feb-13 13:14:55

What's his name?

Your DH's friend's girlfriend gives your baby cards and gifts? shock wink

AntsMarching Mon 18-Feb-13 13:16:11

I don't think she's being rude. It's what people do, it's very natural to shorten names and usually a shortened name implies an amount of affection for the person whose name is being shortened. I'd take it as she likes your pfb.

Having said that, I deliberately gave my pfb a name that has no obvious shortening because I hate when people shorten my name, so I understand why you don't like it.

Wouldn't bother me personally, but have you told her you don't like it?

Fakebook Mon 18-Feb-13 13:16:41

You don't "cope" with it. You just say "his name is X, not Xy. We like him to be known as X". We've had this problem with dd and I had it as a problem myself growing up. You just have to be blunt, or else they won't ever stop, and other people will start doing it too.

Snazzynewyear Mon 18-Feb-13 13:16:48

You need to say 'We don't like X, we would rather he was called Xx'.

If you have asked her not to shorten his name and she persists then YANBU. But if you haven't told her then YABU. Some people like to shorten names, some don't. It's not a big deal really.

What will you do if DS decides he wants to shorten his name when he's older?

Startail Mon 18-Feb-13 13:18:14

I shorten DFs babies name because I miss spell the full version.

lesserspottedshitehawk Mon 18-Feb-13 13:19:23

I wouldn't shorten a child's name without knowing the parents were happy with it but if it bothers you so much TELL HER.

Megatron Mon 18-Feb-13 13:19:41

Its not really much to 'cope' with is it. I take it you've already told her you don't like it so you'll just have to keep telling her!

MrsLyman Mon 18-Feb-13 13:19:53

If it's been going on a while and you have never said anything then YABU, she can't be expected to just know how annoying you find it if you have said no it's actually fullname then YANBU.

There is a shortening of my name that I hate so if anyone uses it I just say nicely please don't call me that.

akaemmafrost Mon 18-Feb-13 13:20:01

It wouldn't bother me. Nice that she makes the effort really isn't it?

HappyJustToBe Mon 18-Feb-13 13:21:29

Annoying maybe but not really rude.

foxache Mon 18-Feb-13 13:24:58

I'm a terrible name-shortener, I can't help it blush

I used to shorten my nephew's name (eg Ian to 'E') and it grew to a habit. My sister never said anything, but one day I was cuddling him and saying 'aw lovely E' and my BIL suddenly snapped 'AN! Its IAN!' It had obviously been a bit of a problem sad

So the moral is, yadnbu, but please tell her nicely (as I'm sure you would), as it's quite hurtful when you were being unintentionally irritating.

FrequentFlyerRandomDent Mon 18-Feb-13 13:25:36

YANBU if you told her and she ignores you.

YABU if you or DH have never told her.

Maryz Mon 18-Feb-13 13:25:43

It depends on the name.

If your pfb's name is Rosalind Arusha Arkadina Altalune Florence Thurman-Busson, for example (like Uma Thurman), and called her Rosie whereas you insist on calling her Rosalind-Aruska-Arkadina-Altalune, than YABU.

And I do think a double-barrelled Maximilian-Montgomery might also be a bit much.

I suggest you get used to it, though, as by the time he is a teenager none of his friends will even know his proper name [sigh]

Alwaysasking Mon 18-Feb-13 13:27:00

Can I just ask what pfb stands for? Sorry to intercept thread but been wondering for a while!

Squeakygate Mon 18-Feb-13 13:28:16

Tell her if you do not like it.
My son has a long name that can be shortened. We choose not to shorten it.
Occassionally someone will shorten it; I used to say; he wont recognise that, we dont shorten his name.

But inevitably as he has got older, his friends call him the shortened name. We call him his full name (or something else which is completely random!) It's not my name, he can choose whether he wants to be called by that or not.

Maryz Mon 18-Feb-13 13:28:38

precious first born, Always.

Usually used when someone is being a tad over-sensitive.

Theicingontop Mon 18-Feb-13 13:29:58

Yeah well my son's name is Dexter, and OH's aunt calls him Sexy Dexy. He is 2.

angry

Yanbu.

Thumbwitch Mon 18-Feb-13 13:30:09

I don't think it's exactly rude unless you've expressly told her that you don't want your PFB to be called the short name.

However, I do understand your irritation. I used to work with a lady who had a knack for picking the least favourite form of everyone's name in the office - those who hated the long or extended versions of their name, she used those - and those who normally used the full version of their name, she shortened. It was incredible! And got up our noses quite successfully (all of us). We had to tell her, as politely as possible, to stop.

You need to do the same.

HerbyVore Mon 18-Feb-13 13:31:06

I would be irritated but I wouldn't see it as being 'rude' just a bit clumsily presumptuous I think.

My SIL did this when I had my pfb - started calling him 'Baby-D' The 'D' being his first initial - it irritated me beyond belief !!

After about the third time I did say something to her, like 'I'm sorry but I'm really going to have to stop you doing that - his name is D.... - you are making him sound like the baby on the Royle Family - STOP-IT!'

and we all had a laugh about it.

You can't let it go on too long - it's just going to get harder to stop.

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