RE 11yo DD's hair-do?

(156 Posts)
NoonarAgain Fri 25-Jan-13 12:43:27

I am feeling dreadful because I got cross with 11 yo DD today and want to ask if IABU.

We were rushing for school and I called out to ask if DD was ready to go, she then emerged wearing some plastic ear rings, a sparkly head band and a massive high pony tail sprouting out of the top of her head. (Now, I like children to dress like children and really hate a lot of the precocious fashions marketed at young girls.) I have probably made the look sound quite comical but she looked really cheap sad and tbh it gave me rather a shock.

So... rather than explaining calmly why I wanted her to re do her hair etc, I shouted saying she looked a fright and did she want to look like a rough teenager etc etc. I am a bit ashamed of how I dealt with it tbh, but was so taken aback by how my little girl looked sad.

Now, I know that I handled it badly, so I am NOT asking AIBU to have got cross, because I know that I was wrong. BUT... was I wrong to make her re do her hairstyle because of concern about how it made her look?

thebody Fri 25-Jan-13 17:51:22

Op we all do this at some point. We all say things we regret because we are human and parenting is bloody hard work.

Glad you and dd have chatted and she will probably remember and laugh with you over this episode sooner than you think.

NoonarAgain Fri 25-Jan-13 17:53:47

thank you the body

LaQueen Fri 25-Jan-13 17:57:54

Thebody actually it's the girls at our local girls GS who look like Maria...but, it does make me smile when I see them at the bus-stop, looking so hideously frumpy and matronly (the uniform really does them no favours) - and next to them are the girls at our local comp, looking glammed up to the eyebrows wearing micro-skirts...

I suspect the GS girls die a million deaths inside, every morning...but, hey, the exam results are amazing grin

JenaiMorris Fri 25-Jan-13 18:21:38

I am coming from the same perspective as Posh really, Noo. Only difference is that I tried to put myself in your shoes a bit. I don't have a daughter - although I have experienced the shock of seeing friends' daughters (and sons for that matter) suddenly looking like teens. I can only imagine what that's like when it's your own!

Plus I think the memory of being told I looked like a slut still jars, more than 25 years on. Of course I'm fine now <twitch> wink

I do get terribly riled though when people talk about girls looking like tarts. If people tell their daughters they're dressing like tarts (which I know you've not done, but I'm on a roll) then we have no hope of stopping vile notions about girls "asking for it" for wearing short skirts.

I've told ds to pull his blinking hood down when going into a shop because he looks like a mugger. Especially when he wears his bandanna-y/balaclava-y thing. Which ruffles my right-on feathers no end - perhaps I'm being thoroughly hypocritical? confused

JenaiMorris Fri 25-Jan-13 18:22:22

Oh, and thebody 's last post is UTTERLY spot on.

JenaiMorris Fri 25-Jan-13 18:24:16

I suspect the GS girls die a million deaths inside, every morning...but, hey, the exam results are amazing

ROAR!!!

As long as they can prance around out of school looking like Madonna circa 1985 that's fine wink

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