Limericks about Mumsnet

We asked Mumsnetters for limericks that completed the opening line 'A website frequented by mums...' as part of a competition inspired by our October 2013 non-fiction book of the month. Here's a selection of the finest, funniest, most ribald and downright clever limericks posted.

 

A website frequented by mums...
How quickly the newbie succumbs,
Giving strangers (or worse)
Mothers' chapter and verse,
While her own child gnaws soap with his gums.

 

 

A website frequented by mums...
Who'd imagine the depths that it plumbs?
"Is your pelvic floor weaker?"
"D'you dunk in a beaker
(or does your DH, when he comes)?"

 

A website frequented by mums...
Trip-trap, Pom Bears, flounce, Friday bums.
YABU re. Froot Shoots.
Any thoughts on these boots?
Wine o'clock, doing DS2's sums.

 

 

A website frequented by mums...
Who'd imagine the depths that it plumbs?
For each thread about neutrals
There's one about poo trolls
And Friday night sex with their bums.

 

A website frequented by mums...
Produces some absolute plums -
With pants that are sodden,
We'll help the downtrodden,
Ignoring our burgeoning tums!

 

 

A website frequented by mums...
Almost crashed! (Now, thank goodness, it runs...)
Forget Wars about Cakes -
Now it's Penis Mistakes
Making Tweeters get busier thumbs.

 

A website frequented by mums...
Was feared by Dave Cameron and chums
Not just bottom wipers,
They're a nest full of vipers
Who'll go all LTB on your bums!

 

 

A website frequented by mums...
Gave advice that no mother could shun
They'd happily advise
On thighs, chocolate and pies
And why twerking was jolly good fun.

 

A website frequented by mums...
Mumsnetters don't twiddle their thumbs
With naice ham and gin
They'll always fit in
And meet lots of jolly good chums!

 

 

A website frequented by mums... 
Whose readers sat on their bums,
They sipped on their wine,
on 'Greggs' they did dine,
As biscuit crumbs fell down their tums!

 

A website frequented by mums...
Is addictive, it quickly becomes
An escape from our DCs'
Food fights and smeared faeces
To solve other people's problum

 

 

A website frequented by mums...
Doesn't just help with my sums
From rewarding with stickers
To which magic knickers
And how best to fill tiny tums

 

A website frequented by mums...
Of the many, there is only one...
Where you are truly allowed,
To be yourself and be proud,
Of a post-pregnancy bump and fat bum!

 

 

A website frequented by mums...
For advice on their daughters and sons.
A fun interlude,
And sometimes a bit rude,
But always a great place to come!

 

A website frequented by mums...
Provides support and joy to its chums,
Smut, secrets and lies,
What recipes for pies!
Always there for you when the time comes.

 

 

A website frequented by mums...
Has posters from mansions and slums
Posh ham and penis
Beakers and fly lady cleanness
Are topics around which it hums

 

 

With thanks to Mumsnetters RyvitaHayworth, KatherinaMinola, dappledawn, ViviDeBOOvoir, hobbisl38, Mamafratelli, riskit4abiskit, aaaaagh, maryclare, Hopezibah, katys10, HazelDormouse and telsa.

 

Last updated: 20-Feb-2014 at 12:00 PM