How much do you give your 18 year old?

(41 Posts)
RavenVonChaos Fri 07-Dec-12 07:17:12

Do you pay for phone, buses, clothes etc?

It's getting me down and costing me a fortune!

I don't pay for his phone or social outings because he's working part time. However because he's still in full time education I make sure he is clothed, fed and can get to and from college.

He's 16 but while he's still studying I think that's how it will stay. It would cost me a fortune otherwise.

If he doesn't have the money to go out then he doesn't go. Very much like the rest of us I suppose.

AnyFuckerForAMincePie Fri 07-Dec-12 07:30:03

My dd is 17, in full time college

She gets her I-phone paid for and given 40 quid a week which has to pay for £15 for bus fares and lunches, about another £15. The rest is hers. She has a study day where she usually doesn't go in, so gets a bit extra,

I would buy big, essential items like coats and an occasional clothes shopping trip a couple of times a year when she starts to look a bit tatty.

That's it. I don't give money hand over fist, because I would rather she did what I did and get a PT job, but so far she is proving to be rather work-shy (although is doing well in college).

noddyholder Fri 07-Dec-12 07:30:23

My ds is 18 .he has just got a part tie job after looking for about a year sainsburys thank you! We currently pay phone and give him about 20 on a Friday for te weekend. We also buy all his clothes. He is at college and the job is for Xmas only so we will be subbing him for a while. He is hoping once he has a job and experience it will be easier to get another

AnyFuckerForAMincePie Fri 07-Dec-12 07:31:59

"luxuries" like cinema trips, Nando's, expensive (but not essential) items like Ugg boots etc are saved up for by her

bruffin Fri 07-Dec-12 07:42:43

My 17 year old works part time, but we pay, £15 for phone and £15 cineworld card.
We pay for school clothes and half towards designer stuff.

SHoHoHodan Fri 07-Dec-12 07:59:43

DS2 (16) gets £75 a month for cinema trips/lunch at school/other personal osts, plus we pay for his contract phone (£25 a month). I buy all clothes/toiletries etc, unless he wants something stupidly expensive, (Hollister hoody with furry lining I'm looking at you), in which case I'll pay the amount I would sspend anyway and he makes up the rest.

nagynolonger Fri 07-Dec-12 08:09:39

I do provide the basics while they're still at school. I buy all necessary clothes and shoes but any extras will be Christmas and birthday presents. The 17 yearold has a phone contract which we pay (£15 per month) but the 16 year old still has a pay as you go which costs £10 every six weeks or so.
We pay for all sports kit and fees which is not cheap but we will not be paying for driving lessons or a car. Lots of parents still seem to be paying for driving lessons as soon as they reach 17 and then stumping up for a car aswell. Mine have been told they will have to find work if they want to drive. The trouble is there is no work locally. Bit of glass collecting maybe but that's not regular work.
They go to the occasional cinema trip or party but they have to save for that. The 19 year old is a 2nd year apprentice and he pays for everything himself. Since starting year 2 he pays a token amount each month to me towards his keep. When he earns more he will pay more.

musicposy Fri 07-Dec-12 10:58:09

I give DD1 (nearly 17) £30 a month and then quite often bits of lunch money etc on top. I pay for her college bus pass and train fares, and for her dance lessons. I pay for half her phone top ups - usually £5 of £10 a month.

She's made (tentative) efforts to get a job but she is very busy with her college and dancing so it's not entirely practical for her and for this reason I don't mind helping her a bit. She does bits of babysitting etc to top up her income. I don't hand over too much because I feel it is a disincentive to making her own money and being careful with it.

We will not be paying for driving lessons or a car when she turns 17 after Christmas. We just don't have that sort of money. Plus she has a perfectly good bus pass grin

AphraBehn Fri 07-Dec-12 13:16:26

Same as musicposy.
I give my nearly 17 year old DS £30 per month and pay his phone contract of around £20. I also pay any school related expenses and essential clothing. He does bits of babysitting for exra money.

He doesn't have a job atm as his A level courses are quite full on and one is an accelerated course. He has a sum of money for driving lessons set aside but if he wants to run a car then he will have to work. I can't see that happening for a while though as the insurance will cost several thousand pounds.

DS2 is 18 and at college. We pay for his phone, clothes (he doesn't ask for much), bus fare and lunches and he probably has an extra £15-£20 a week on top.

He earns some money from acting and that is in his own account which he uses for buying games, bits for his computer etc.

MsElleTow Fri 07-Dec-12 13:36:30

DS1 is 18 next week. We pay for everything! He has a part time Christmas job, but did have a job before the firm went bankrupt, and goes to college. We have paid for drving lessons, he has his test on Wednesday, because I am disabled, DH is Forces and we need someone to take on a bit of driving. We can't afford to buy him a car, so he will go on our insurance!

He wears mainly Topman and H&M clothes, the designer stuff he gets for Christmas. His phone is PAYG. His 18th present is a lads' trip to Malia after is A levels!

DS1 17 in a couple of weeks. He gets £30 a month. He has to pay for entertainment and weekend bus fares.He has a bus pass for college and takes a packed lunch, I pay for his phone, haircuts and clothes. He's just got a little job which pays £20 a week. I will be paying for driving lessons and putting him on my car insurance.
I plan to increase his pocket money when he is 17 to cover haircuts and clothes so he can learn to budget, though he hates spending money and will probably by fewer clothes grin. He has a current account and a debit card.

RavenVonChaos Fri 07-Dec-12 23:04:42

I wish my daughter could get a regular part time job. I don't mind paying for stuff but don't feel like she is learning how to be self sufficient. I would like a bit extra to spend on me and do to be honest.

It also seems to cause a lot of tension too. She was moaning about the 2 younger dc's getting new shoes - mmmm their feet are still growing hmm

noisytoys Fri 07-Dec-12 23:22:14

I wish you were all my parents. At 18 I was an adult and treated like one. I got no pocket money so I got a job

bruffin Fri 07-Dec-12 23:29:40

I left school and was working full time at16 as were all my friends.
We will pay for Dd to do her lifeguard qualifications when she is 16.Our local leisure centre take on casual staff every year when the older staff go off to uni. DS hs been working there a year now, and also does another lifeguards job at another pool a couple of hours a week.

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman Fri 07-Dec-12 23:32:42

Gawd, I was mean. I gave them nothing once they were 18.

Astelia Sat 08-Dec-12 10:31:00

We pay for everything for DD1 17 as there are no jobs available to her. She would like a Saturday job but the only thing that comes her way is a bit of babysitting.

So we do phone contract, clothes, toiletries, books, stuff for school, lunches. Her pocket money is for extras (she is into Art and buys lots of paints and craft supplies), socialising and saving.

nagynolonger Sat 08-Dec-12 10:40:34

To be fair jobs are much harder to come by now. My sons have all tried hard to find work to fit around their school work. Friends that do have part time jobs got them through family connections.

I am willing to pay for necessary things but not driving lessons, car, hoildays with mates, gap years etc. My eldest two went to university and we helped out but any debt was theirs. If they lived at home and worked full time they paid a share towards household expenses. An 18 yearold is an adult (once they have finished school) and IMO you do them no favours paying for everything.

Myliferocks Sat 08-Dec-12 10:48:29

The only thing we pay for our 16 yr old DD is the £30 per month for her bus ticket to get to college.
She has a part time job which she has had a couple of years now although her hours are reduced in the winter and she only works at the weekend.
She buys everything and pays £10 per month for her contract phone sim.
She is one of 5 so it helps that she buys all her stuff that she needs.

OneHandFlapping Sat 08-Dec-12 10:54:05

18 year old DS is at uni. We pay the difference between his student loan and his food/accommodation costs. He pays for everything else out of his holiday earnings.

Jobs are very hard to come by.
Plus I think that as DS is working hard at college I am happy to support him. Because that's what it is. If your child has left education then certainly they should be self supporting but unless you really can't afford it it seems hard to expect them to support themselves as well as study.
One of DSs friends was working so many hours when he did his GCSEs that his grades suffered considerably.
I was also one who was working full time at 16. I don't want that for my children.

Dd is17 still at school and has 2 jobs. We pay phone contract and car insurance and 15 per week for lunches. Also all school clothing and supplies, coats and footwear.

musicposy Sat 08-Dec-12 12:26:50

Jobs are incredibly hard to come by, I agree. DD applied for quite a few thinking she would get some Christmas work but had no joy. She's hard working, friendly, personable, clever - so (even from my biased viewpoint) I'm thinking if she can't get a job then who can? Trouble is I think that anything advertised has 100s of applicants - probably all clever, personable, friendly students! Lots of firms want things that don't fit with her college hours. So many places want, say 3 days a week, Thurs - Sat for example. Who on earth can work those hours? I'm guessing people who want full time but can't get that either. sad

Plus her A levels and dance combined take a lot of time and I don't want her to sacrifice her A level results for the sake of a few pounds we could probably provide.

I have worried that lots of her friends have jobs, though and so she'll struggle later to get into the job market - but it seems reading on here as though she's not the only one, which is encouraging.

AnyFuckerForAMincePie Sat 08-Dec-12 12:57:50

No, music she is not the only one. Jobs are very hard to find, not like when I were a lass.

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