a safe sanctuary for larger ladies who are ttc!

(89 Posts)
acsr1987 Sun 03-Feb-13 21:03:25

im starting a new thread for ladies who dont want to be judged about being a chubster, and to know the hurt it feels to be told your too fat to get pregnant, yet see heffers bigger than u with their babies. to be comfort eating because yet again your af has come. to try really hard to shift the buldge but only get a few pounds off.
im here for you ladies....
no skinny minnies or put downs please or we will squash u with our big fat arses!!!!

Natalieand Sun 03-Feb-13 21:46:20

Hello all I was 17 stone when I first conceived my 2.4 year old daughter and I'm pretty sure I've just had a faint BFP at 20 stone... No not ideal but that won't stop me being excited :-)

acsr1987 Sun 03-Feb-13 21:48:49

OMG that is amazing! ooooo i have my fingers crossed for you! do u have any tips? im hoping that 14 and a half stone is going to be my bfp weight as it was with my ds so fingers crossed for me, im due af on the 15th so in the tww now aaaaaaaaah i feel sick with nerves lol

Natalieand Sun 03-Feb-13 21:53:44

I'm not due till the 6th but got a faint line on first response test yesterday, I had my implant out at end if sept last year so its only my 4th cycle since then first time round it took a year to conceive and that's with sperm issues for my husband. I have been using conceive plus lube instead of normal has normal I've is harmful too sperm. Also this month I don't slim fast diet for about two weeks so maybe that helped? Lol I don't no but I will have too retest in a few days to confirm :-)

GoSuckEggs Sun 03-Feb-13 21:59:19

I am hoping for my bfp on the 22nd of feb! i am 16.3, i have lost a stone since new years, and hoping to keep loosing!

JaquelineHyde Sun 03-Feb-13 22:04:41

'see heffers bigger than you with their babies' Yeah really nice OP!

I was coming on here to offer support and encouragement but as a heffer considerably bigger than you and currently 29 weeks pg I suspect my advice won't be welcomed!

So much for not wanting to be judged hey hmm

Natalieand Sun 03-Feb-13 22:13:20

Now big r u jacquline?

acsr1987 Sun 03-Feb-13 22:25:44

jaqueline, its just one of those things that feels like a slap in the face to ladies who hav already been told they are to fat to get pregnant, then u see someone who is fatter than you pregnant it can sometimes be disheartening.
no offence or anything babe but we are all heffers in here! and theres nothin the matter with that!

JaquelineHyde Sun 03-Feb-13 22:45:07

But acsr you are looking for a safe place away from the judgement of others and then you throw insults at women who are bigger than you.

So really you are just as bad as the slimmer people you are looking for a sanctuary away from.

I appreciate that may not have been your attention in your op but that is how it felt when reading it.

Natalie I was 22stone 8lb when I got my bfp and I have lost a stone since being pg. I'm looking forward to what the scales will say a few weeks after the birth.

Natalieand Sun 03-Feb-13 22:48:36

As you are a similar weight to me do u mind me asking how you look pregnant? Can ppl tell u r pregnant? If that makes sense

JaquelineHyde Sun 03-Feb-13 23:01:20

Yes now I am 29 weeks pg there is no doubt I look pregnant. I suddenly just popped out at about 20 weeks and haven't stopped growing since grin

I am amazed that I look so pg as I was worried I would just look like I had put all the weight back on that I have managed to lose over the last year. Definitely a nice big baby bump though smile

acsr1987 Mon 04-Feb-13 06:05:06

jaqueline its sanctuary for fat girls ttc, i was told before i had my ds at 17 stone that i was too fat to ever possibly get pregnant... but obviously its not impossible because u got pregnant at 22 stone... do u realise how frustrating that can be to someone who is ttc for a long time? its like a massive slap in the face and im sure im not the only one who feels like that! it its abit of joke and banter... just like it is when we are pissed off that everyone around us is pregnant... at the end of the day we fat lasses are still struggeling on! thats all i ment if i caused offence im sorry

Isabeller Mon 04-Feb-13 07:15:28

We're all surrounded by pretty derogatory language about weight, it's difficult not to get caught up but really worth trying to support each other. Lots of vilified groups have 'reclaimed' the language of oppression too...

I am hoping that if I do manage to achieve a pregnancy though fertility treatment my size will help me hide the fact for as long as possible and I'm also hoping I will be able to lose weight (even though I find it very difficult) as apparently it's not unsafe to lose weight in pregnancy as was once thought.

I'm really encouraged by this too.

Good luck to all ttc

DoctorWhoFan Mon 04-Feb-13 07:49:49

Hello isabeller! How are things?

Jacqueline, I'm certain that acsr didn't mean it that way. And mucho congratulations on the baby on board! I'm over 16 stones. I'd love to lose weight, but I struggle with mobility. I used to be a runner, ended up with double knee surgery 6 years ago and the weight has piled on. I can't walk far due to the knees (and the fibromyalgia) and neither can I swim or cycle because of the knees. I sometimes think the surgery was a waste of time because they're no less painful or restricting since it happened.

Despite all this, AND the bipolar disorder and anxiety, I still have no doubt I could be a good mother, and neither does my psych, which is encouraging.

Unfortunately, I'm 45 and ttc my first cos it took so bloody long to meet my DP. Mind you, at 14 years younger than me...if I'd met him 10 years ago, that would have felt a bit weird.

So being fat is probably the least of my worries personally, but almost certainly the one I'll get most grief from the medical profession for. Apart from the GP I saw last year about fertility issues who made it quite plain that she wouldn't help me even get blood tests because she clearly felt that my mental health issues should preclude me from becoming a parent. If I hadn't been so upset, I'd have complained about her.

Sorry about the essay...hi ladies!

CaliBee Mon 04-Feb-13 07:56:06

Waves to isabeller and Drwho fan...can I join in??
I have just had 2 weeks of comfort eating following a ms at 10 weeks...I feel mahoosive. I have struggled with my weight for most of my adult life,....I'm currently about 16 stone. I'm about to restart clomid with my next AF...my consultant didnt bat an eyelid about prescribing it for me.

CaliBee Mon 04-Feb-13 07:57:40

Should have read mc at 10 weeks.
Back to work today...nerves kicking in. eek

DoctorWhoFan Mon 04-Feb-13 08:13:50

Calibee honey...I've just posted on the other thread for you.

I need a different GP. But I need to get over the frikkin anxiety so I can leave the house and register with one. I feel so pathetic. I also feel like I'm about to start my period - it's due tomorrow...grump sad

DoctorWhoFan Mon 04-Feb-13 08:14:55

Hope going back to work isn't as bad as you fear. Tell the witch to piss iff if she starts...

Natalieand Mon 04-Feb-13 08:20:43

Tested again this morning ladies and definitely a BFP for me making me around 3+5 from last period, when I got pregnant with dd1 I looked visiabbly pregnant to everyone else from 23 weeks but I weighed 3 stone less I'm not worried about showing my pregnancy early as long as I show at some point but having spoken to doc when I was ttc he said e would be happy for me to follow the weight watchers diet while preg too keep my weight at least the same so as not to gain. Happy to leave this threa if u wish as I'm no longer ttc? Xxxx

DoctorWhoFan Mon 04-Feb-13 08:25:47

Congratulations Natalie. Don't leave unless you want to. It will be lovely to hear how you're getting on. I'm on cycle 25 now, but that's almost certainly due to my age. I'm ovulating each month, and I think I've conceived a couple of times, but it's just not sticking. I keep hoping though, but time's running out for me.

Natalieand Mon 04-Feb-13 09:19:37

I will stick around if no one minds and nice to speak to l who understands how it feels to be big, jacquline just wondering have u had any complications so far as a result of your weight?

I'm not currently TTC, but I have 3 DC - all of whom were conceived whilst I was (and still am) obese. DS1 I weighed 120kg, no complications, hospital birth. DS2 was born at home - no complications, and I weighed 150kg at the time. That was in 2006, I've remained 150kg, and DD1 was born in 2011. Again no complications.

There's no doubt that for some ladies, it is harder to conceive when heavier - but it's certainly not impossible. It is also accepted that, yes, we can have more complex requirements due to size - bigger beds, operating tables etc.

I have a friend who is similarly sized, and she has PCOS. She was refused treatment by one GP, until she lost a certain amount of weight. However, the PCOS was part of what was causing her weight gain. She changed doctors, and her new GP prescribed her the medication and as a result she has been losing weight.

Just as it's possible to be slim and unhealthy, it is possible to be big and healthy.

Natalieand Mon 04-Feb-13 09:47:10

I had a normal delivery at 19 stone no complications but I had a epidural f pain relief x

ScottyDoc Mon 04-Feb-13 10:11:32

I've been lurking on this thread and can't get my head around how some of you genuinely believe you can be fat and healthy. What a good misleading example for your own children hmm anyone here thought about future implications, not to mention the fact it's pretty selfish trying to conceive whilst obese?

JaquelineHyde Mon 04-Feb-13 10:16:52

I am under consultant led care which is quite normal for someone considered obese in pg but also because my son (now 7) was born prem after my waters broke at 30 weeks.

I haven't had any complications due to my weight although every health care professional I see likes to try and blame every niggle I have on my weight which is just ridiculous but typical of the attitude towards over weight people. I generally shut them up by telling them I have lost 8 stone over the last year and a half and have continued to lose weight during the pg.

I was unable to conceive for a long, long, long time as my exssesive weight meant I didn't ovulate, losing weight kick started my system again and I got my BFP 3 months after my periods returned smile So I do know exactly how all of you ladies are feeling especially as I was told obver and over again that my periods would never return regardless of how much weight I lost. I currently have 3 dc's but only ds is biologically mine my two beautiful DDs are adopted.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now