To be upset that good friend did not ask me to be maid of honor?

(260 Posts)
grrrrrrrrrrrrrr Mon 29-Apr-13 17:56:06

One of my best friends is getting married next year, on a girls night out she mentioned that she will picking bridesmaids and maid of honor in the next few weeks, we have been good friends for 7 years and I thought I would be included, but at the end of the day its her wedding and she can do what she wants.

On facebook I saw a few of her friends were delighted to be chosen for either a bridesmaid or maid of honor, did not really give it much thought other than oh well.

Saw friend today who wanted to explain why I wasn't included, she said although I was her best friend and wanted me to be maid of honor she asked another friend as they are slim and would look better on the photo's. sad I was ok with not being included, but wish she had not explained her reasons why. Feeling really hurt.

Sirzy Mon 29-Apr-13 17:57:40

I was going to say her wedding and she can have who she wants but that reason is really bitchy!

Fleecyslippers Mon 29-Apr-13 17:58:38

Really ?

AnythingNotEverything Mon 29-Apr-13 17:58:46

Really? Does she normally behave like a cow?

That's absolutely unacceptable, and you'd be well within your rights to never speak to her again IMO!

Cosydressinggown Mon 29-Apr-13 17:58:48

YANBU to be upset about this.

YABU to ever, ever talk to this foul woman, ever again.

expatinscotland Mon 29-Apr-13 17:59:34

Aw, that's harsh!

ElaineVintage Mon 29-Apr-13 18:00:25

Awful, awful woman.

Ditch this bitch of a friend ASAP.

Seriously, this is NOT acceptable treatment of a friend.

YANBU.

PuggyMum Mon 29-Apr-13 18:00:38

What a bitch. Why would you say this to your best friend? Fwiw I'm the big one out of our group and have been bridesmaids to my 2 close friends. To me a photo is more about who is in it than what size they are.

I'd be rethinking the friendship if I were you.

YANBU.

Iwantmybed Mon 29-Apr-13 18:01:17

That is an awful reason OP. I can understand why you're hurt. Try to be glad you've no official jobs to do on the day and can enjoy the bar instead of endless photos and other boring things.

WaterColouredRainbow Mon 29-Apr-13 18:02:35

Damn ... I was about to say well it's her wedding and she did give you reasons but

YANBU!

That's a ridiculously nasty and unnecessary thing to say. Believe me if she's that shallow that she would rather someone who in her opinion would look better in photos than someone she's really close to as her bridesmaid then she's not a nice person.

She already being a bridezilla too. Saying you are going to announce who is your bridesmaids and M of H in a few weeks? It's not the Oscars love.

Seriously see this as a blessing.

Machli Mon 29-Apr-13 18:02:36

Boo Hockey.

IDoTakeTwo Mon 29-Apr-13 18:03:23

She is a terrible friend.
Withdraw ASAP for your own sanity and general well being.

Her words can only be designed to wound. No-one needs that in their life.

grrrrrrrrrrrrrr Mon 29-Apr-13 18:03:25

Thanks :-)

She is normally quite sweet, and she did go all around the houses before she mentioned it to me. I fell out with her sister years ago and imagine she has had some input.

I just sat there and said ok, then soon after she left and I have been thinking about it ever since.

MaxPepsi Mon 29-Apr-13 18:04:27

WTAF???

What a ffing bitch.

To you and the 'slim' friends.

reallyyummymummy Mon 29-Apr-13 18:05:54

Terrible reason and you deserve better friends than that

SaltaKatten Mon 29-Apr-13 18:06:32

I would be declining an invite to the wedding.

YABU to be upset. She is not worth one single teeny tear drop.

Hopefully there will be a Force 10 gale and torrential rain on her wedding day, and some passing car will spray her top to toe with dirty rainwater just as she's about to step into the bridal car.

Squitten Mon 29-Apr-13 18:09:09

One of your "best friends" said that to you?!

shock

I would regretfully turn down her invitation to the wedding because you wouldn't want to ruin all the other photos either, now would you..?

ShipwreckedAndComatose Mon 29-Apr-13 18:13:50

That's a really shitty thing to say and a really shitty thing to do!!

I am genuinely shock that someone would treat a friend like this!

grrrrrrrrrrrrrr Mon 29-Apr-13 18:14:01

lol @ pumpkin positive. smile

the phrase she used was wanting the photo's to look symmetrical !

I think she knows she has upset as I have had 2 random chatty texts when I don't normally get any, think I will not reply until I feel better.

minniemagoo Mon 29-Apr-13 18:14:49

Think happened to me and it took me a while to realise that in fact it was her mother was the zilla. Friend was an only daughter who tried very hard to please her slightly dotty living in a snobby world mother. It wasnt said as bluntly more 'A will look lovely in the pics'. It did strain the relationship for a long while but when 4 years later it came to my wedding I knew she was who I wanted regardless of this event. As it turned out she was very pg in my photos which bothered me not in the least. I am glad I swollowed my pride as we are still good friends.
It does hurt but if the friendship is worth it, it will survive.

StuffezLaYoni Mon 29-Apr-13 18:15:40

I'm afraid I wouldn't be attending - wouldn't want to fuck up any photos with my hideous fat self!
Yes, childish, but a real friend wouldn't say this...

grrrrrrrrrrrrrr Mon 29-Apr-13 18:16:20

the chatty texts have been along the line of wedding stuff is driving me nuts already feel I have no control over anything, and asking if ds can go round hers tomorrow for tea confused

shock that is horrible

Mama1980 Mon 29-Apr-13 18:18:24

Seriously?! That's awful. My brothers ex tried this I am heavily scarred and she wanted me to cover up so I didn't spoil the photos! I can't believe some people think like this confused

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