To ask why do people 'loud parent'

(468 Posts)
ElevenCent Fri 01-Feb-13 18:24:01

This woman from my NCT group does it all the time with her DS when we all meet for coffee and it's just ridiculous. She literally verbalises every thing they do with a question at the end and some sort of lesson. Eg mummy can't find her phone in her handbag can she James? Phone, James, PHONE. We ring daddy on the phone don't we? / Mummy is going to get you a rice cake, isn't she James? But we only have three left don't we, till we get to the shops. One, two, three. Shops. SHOPS.

I do engage with DD, naturally, but nowhere near on this level!

Sorry, I know this isn't a new topic, but it is so ridiculous. A couple of times I've echoed it with "what is mummy going to do tonight DD, drink gin, that's right, GIN. What does mummy like with her gin? Tonic, that's
right isn't it DD? But she might need to have it neat tonight, isn't that right?" however she is usually too absorbed in explaining to him why coffee is hot, HOT, and why it is sometimes in a mug MUG, sometimes in a cup CUP and why only mummies MUM-MIES drink coffee and not babies BABIES and why and why and why and why and why

belindarose Fri 01-Feb-13 18:30:55

I do it all the time. Hopefully not loudly. I just talk to my baby. He likes it. I don't care if you're listening or not. I'm not talking to you. I do it in the car, in the woods, in the shops, wherever. And I will carry on doing it, whether or not you think I'm trying to impress you.

Juanca Fri 01-Feb-13 18:33:21

YABU. I do it and my Jonquil is trilingual and can make a perfect souffle and he's only 17 months.

Pagwatch Fri 01-Feb-13 18:34:36

<shrug>

There are worse things to do. Like not talking to your child.

I think it just becomes a habit sometimes.

It only annoys me when it involves smuggery .. 'come on Timothy we must get home for our music and movement hour before canapés on the lawn'

I had to talk to DS a lot as he had language problems.

meadow2 Fri 01-Feb-13 18:35:19

I do the talking thing all the time, and at home.Its just a natural thing you do when you have babies.

catgirl1976 Fri 01-Feb-13 18:38:55

I do vocalise everything. I don't think I do it loudly and there are no canapes involved.

OutragedFromLeeds Fri 01-Feb-13 18:39:23

Some people are just a bit keen I think and take normal talking to your child to the extreme. I think poor James might grow up to think he has to say key words twice though if she carries on with 'cup CUP' etc.. He'll be saying 'me want a biscuit BISCUIT, now NOW' before she knows it.

FutTheShuckUp Fri 01-Feb-13 18:40:09

Theres a woman who's like this with a child in DS's class. She sort of shrieks at her younger child as if she wants everyone else to here 'yes you will be starting school soon wont you darling. yes you are very good at colouring arent you darling'
She is also slagging her other half off on facebook constantly even though he appears to be good enough to be having another baby with hmm

Mollydoggerson Fri 01-Feb-13 18:40:52

I suppose to increase the child's language skills and decrease mummy's boredom with talking to the wall/trees.

SageYourResoluteOracle Fri 01-Feb-13 18:41:06

YABabitU but I can see how it would get a but tiresome if you never got a word in edge ways. Had to laugh at the 'What's mummy going to drink tonight, DD?' bit! Mind you, I think I might be one of those mum-mies! And DDs speech isn't bad for her age so I don't know if it's made a difference (not a stealth boast, BTW, but an actual boast!!)

Juanca grin

mrsjay Fri 01-Feb-13 18:43:37

loud parenting is just talking to your child surely It is a wee bit different from performance parenting which is v v annoying like now we remember the Mandarin word for thank you dont we darling grin

I was a loud talkative parent MY dds liked it and when they came to talking they could communicate quite well from a young age, dd1 started speaking ar 10 months. obvious genuis grin

mrsjay Fri 01-Feb-13 18:44:42

and you know I work with some parents who never speak to their babies ever id rather have a loud parent than that anyday

mrsjay Fri 01-Feb-13 18:46:04

there are no canapes involved.

ach catgirl you spoiled my vision of you I so had you down for a canapes girl grin

Fakebook Fri 01-Feb-13 18:46:32

Inside the four walls of my house I practise loud parenting at its finest. Outside and infront of people, I just tone it down, but still do it.

People always mention how sensibly and clearly dd talks. She used to have full conversations with old people on the bus aged 2.5. DS is also starting to follow Dd's footsteps.

Take the piss all you like, but I think talking to babies like this really helps them develop good speech quickly.

catgirl1976 Fri 01-Feb-13 18:47:51

Don't get me wrong, I love a good canape grin

I made some lovely ones at Christmas

But they have yet to come up in conversation with DS smile

wonkylegs Fri 01-Feb-13 18:49:39

Ha I found it difficult to talk to DS about mundane things so I used to talk to him about work, buildings (I'm an architect) - what I liked/didn't like & driving. I never expected him to pay attention it was just the interacting aspect, and I didn't feel so stupid talking about stuff.
Which was fine until one day we were walking past a house just after he started really talking properly and DS exclaimed loudly ' mummy that's a really ugly house' blush he was right but the lady in the garden gave me a really dirty look!
I'm much more careful about what I say within even vague earshot these days.

mrsjay Fri 01-Feb-13 18:50:45

grin wonky legs

mrsjay Fri 01-Feb-13 18:51:52

god when mine were babies we would talk about the birds tree bushes dogs ducks , what we were eating what we were doing next I would also moan about my day when they were tiny babies, you know maybe that is why they never shut up blush

Boomerwang Fri 01-Feb-13 18:51:52

I haven't seen that. I do mutter things around the house like 'mummy needs something to eat/drink', 'mummy's lost her keys' and then feel like slapping myself because I sound a fool.

When out and about with my daughter I talk to her about things that are going on, but I don't raise my voice so that others can hear. How odd.

YANBU.

3monkeys3 Fri 01-Feb-13 18:52:29

I am naturally a very quiet/non chatty person. It may be a coincidence, but dcs 1 and 2 were both late talkers (dc3, who has had the least focused attention is right on track though - go figure) and I often wish I could be more like your friend. Of course I talk to my dc, and always have, but not intensively iyswim. So I think you're being a bit U.

scottishmummy Fri 01-Feb-13 18:53:02

loud parents are funny,the pushy ones.it's Lin-gwee-knee for tea.you know go on saskia
say Lin-gwee-knee like the artisan man we met in Italy.
the ongoing running commentary of middle class life

mrsjay Fri 01-Feb-13 18:53:06

oh and another thing dd2s parents evening last week , miss jay has excellent communication skills.

AThingInYourLife Fri 01-Feb-13 18:53:08

"I do it all the time. Hopefully not loudly. I just talk to my baby. He likes it. I don't care if you're listening or not. I'm not talking to you. I do it in the car, in the woods, in the shops, wherever. And I will carry on doing it, whether or not you think I'm trying to impress you."

Nice smile

ThreeWheelsGood Fri 01-Feb-13 18:53:30

This makes me sad. I've just had my first baby and I find it really hard to talk to her, I've learnt by copying my mum and just chatting about what we're up to etc. I feel really self conscious if I do it in public (I do it really quietly sometimesif alone, louder if with someone but not LOUD). I'd hate someone to judge me for it, I feel it's helping her already as she makes a huge range of sounds when she babbles. So, YABU, it's great she's.talking to her baby.

exoticfruits Fri 01-Feb-13 18:53:57

I wouldn't want them to stop-they are highly amusing!

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