To think its none of BIL business..

(23 Posts)
Softlysoftly Sat 08-Dec-12 14:58:23

... What I'm doing with my child free time?

Background my family are miles away, DH is at work all day, 7 days a week and currently covering his dads business on a night as FIL is ill, so I see him maybe 30m every other day.

On a Saturday MIL has the DDs for me, I normally get some work done or clean or go the gym.

Today I've been diagnosed with pleurisy on top of my uncontrolled asthma, I feel like death, dropped DDs in and hung about a bit, DD1 (3) asked to come away with me, BIL pipes up "Im going out, she'll be bored, you'll be bored won't you (to DD) you want to go with mummy?".

"What are you doing anyway? If you aren't working you can take her".

Well I was intending to junk work, have a bath and sleep but now have DD1 with me so

Softlysoftly Sat 08-Dec-12 15:00:38

Posted too soon but you get the gist, I had to take DD as her face did this sad yes I'll be bored mummy.

Surely even if I want to waste my free time or dance naked wearing only tinsel it's my free time and therefore I don't have to give him reasons as to why I flipping need it and how I'll be spending it?

cornycarrotshack Sat 08-Dec-12 15:02:27

Cheeky fecker
What did MIL say?
Won't she miss not having dd?

Or maybe your MiL wanted to do something/go somewhere/have a staurday to herself sometimes and has told BiL who thought he was "helping" by dropping huge hints.
Why not just ask your MiL if she still wants to mind your children every saturday and see what she says, and how she says it

Gumby Sat 08-Dec-12 15:05:30

Does he live there? Perhaps he works all week & wants peace & quiet
Or perhaps mil has been complaining about being used as free childcare every Saturday?
Do you work?

Montybojangles Sat 08-Dec-12 15:08:02

What's it got to do with him??
Wasn't it your MIL that was having her for a few hours? I would have explained (to your DD, not the arse of a BIL) that you had a very boring job to do and nanny would be sad if she didn't stay a wee while.
As you say, it's your bit of free time to do what you want with. Why isn't he busy working all hours in his dads business to help your DH?

WileywithSageStuffing Sat 08-Dec-12 15:08:59

I think every Saturday seems quite a lot for your MIL to have your DDs.

Does BIL have children?

Perhaps your mother in law has mentioned something?

It's nice if they can help out especially when you're ill but I think when something is regular in occasion it can become a burden.

Softlysoftly Sat 08-Dec-12 15:10:29

She didn't want DD to leave, but the seed was sown.

She doesnt go out unless I or sil takes her out, sad but true, she stays in all day every day, he does live there but doesn't take her out, he was going out himself so not like DD would have been bothering him.

MIL is traditional Asian, would have the kids all day every day if she could, very much lives for children. She has them on a Saturday, I take her to mine or out 1 day a week, my sil takes her out shopping 1 day.

I'm on maternity leave at the moment but still doing some freebie marketing for friends and DH.

WileywithSageStuffing Sat 08-Dec-12 15:12:50

In which case if she definitely does not mind it s none of your BIL's business.

Does he have any children want to get a look in on free childcare ?

In the circumstances you have posted YANBU

Softlysoftly Sat 08-Dec-12 15:13:10

Monty he works but could help out his dad the odd weekend, he chooses not to. DH is dead on his feet.

Softlysoftly Sat 08-Dec-12 15:14:48

No children, does seem to think he knows best how to raise mine though. He poked DD1s tummy today and said "oh good she's lost weight".

I may kick him in the balls.

Sounds like mil needs to open up a bit more as your bil has quite obviously been spoken to by her about looking after your dc.
Yanbu, she should tell YOU if she has a problem in looking after your dc.

cornycarrotshack Sat 08-Dec-12 15:18:34

Even if it was too much for MIL it was very rude of BIL to express it in that way

Your MIL sounds like my mum - she'd have her grandchildren all the time and thrives on it.

Perhaps have a word with MIL just to check it's still okay and if so tell BIL to mind his own business next time.

Angelico Sat 08-Dec-12 15:18:35

Your BIL sounds like an interfering nobber, possibly the type who has his own ideas about how you should 'mother' your daughter. Next time tell him she'll be fine with DMIL and leave.

Montybojangles Sat 08-Dec-12 15:40:17

Completely agree with Angelico and the interfering theme.
He also sounds lazy. Why isn't helping out more with the business? I bet his mom is still cooking all his meals and doing his laundry for him too.
Time he moved out maybe, one of my DPs friends is mid forties and still lives with mum, as he says none of his previous GFs would look after him so well, lazy git.

thebody Sat 08-Dec-12 16:05:49

Sounds like your bil is jealous of the attention his mummy pays to your children.

If anyone pocked my child in the tummy and commented on her weight I would be absolutely livid. I wouldn't be very happy leaving my child anywhere near the twat to be honest.

BerryChristmas Sat 08-Dec-12 16:14:40

Your BIL is a knobber - but you were wrong to take your DD home after such a small suggestion. Man up to him.

Softlysoftly Sat 08-Dec-12 16:35:12

I know I should have left her, just feeling a bit too weak to argue.

Monty is dead on mil does everything for him.

I will have words about the weight thing when DD1 isn't there and when I have the energy to drill things into his metre thick skull.

Other BIL also lives at home but I'd totally independent and works his arse off, no idea what went wrong with the middle one.

StuntGirl Sat 08-Dec-12 17:20:59

I'm afraid I'd have very firmly told daughter that she'd have lots of fun with Granny and left her. Brother in law can knob off. I'd also have words with hm about commenting on her weight - who does he think he is the cheeky fucker.

RandomMess Sat 08-Dec-12 17:24:40

Urgh next time get MIL to come over to yours if BIL starts being an arse!

ImperialSantaKnickers Sat 08-Dec-12 17:29:01

And all this while you've got pleurisy!?

Softlysoftly Sat 08-Dec-12 17:38:00

Yep, starting antibiotics today and my asthma isn't being controlled by my inhaler so have to start steroids tomorrow, plus still bf DD2 and she sleeps 2hrs at a time max.

Im getting whiny now, ignore me, might pack my car and head home to my mummy ;)

ImperialSantaKnickers Sat 08-Dec-12 17:49:43

Get well soon thanks

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